this isn’t good-bye and it never will be

bayot doesn’t know it but i skipped school today to meet up with friends and catch up with her at the airport. i couldn’t let her leave without being able to hug and kiss that bitch. i love her too much to do that. lol.
right now i’m waiting for miss gaitera, the sloth, to come here so we can go to sm or somewhere near there and meet up with cj to say good-bye. whoops. it isn’t goodbye lagi. >:p i unno who else’re going. 5 minutes after 8. where the heck are you, ayana?!

—-
i’m sorry but not guilty.

kev, here’s my side of the story and a little bit of the other sides. lol

ok, but first, i’m not naming anyone. i’m better than that. i know. mom didn’t raise a classless bitch. i won’t do that to her. lmao. anyways, first, i admit my faults.

1. i’m sooo fucking sorry for not backing off. but it really was hard. to be stuck in such a situation as that. and when someone else [hint: haha. secretooo] told me what to do, i admit not doing it because i thought that i could come up with another way to get past things. wrong move. but i’m only human.

2. i admit that it was stupid to tell you the truth. but you wanted it so i gave it to you. and so what if i “thought” i liked him. it’s not like i would EVER go for him. heck, no. [that wasn’t said in an offensive way, btw] i got confused. sorry. i don’t see why you took it the wrong way. there’s a fine line betwee liking and actually going for. i stood behind the liking part and nowhere near the going for. haha

3. haha. that’s what i always say. and i’m sorry if that came out a bit offensive but, hey, we’ll all live. [god, don’t tell me THAT was offensive pud? i come up too strong. deal with it]

4. i admit that i AM sorry but i’m NOT crazy nor am i stupid enough to waste my time telling the whole world how sorry i am and how i wish i could take things back. i have a philosophy and that is, to live life without regret. however, if this is how things’re going to end. i admit, it’ll be such a waste but i’d rather waste it then put myself through heaps of pity and remorse over something that’s already happened.

ok, if that wasn’t enough sorry’s and i admit’s then you can go ahead and tell the world that i’m a boyfriend stealing slut faced whore. i’ll live. i don’t worship highschool drama nor do i try to fix it. i’m passive but only to things that can’t make me a better person. yes, i’ve learned. i’m done learning so why drown in misery? you must think i worshipped people. honey, i like being passive.
  
here’s the story kev. i got stuck between a bad breakup. people say that i was one of the reasons. [note: ONE of the MANY reasons. kung bogo mo. reread that line] and, maybe i was. but i was only truthfully trying to help since i alrady got caught in the middle anyways. maybe people thought that i got in the middle cuz we we’re texting alot that time that they we’re doing soo well and shit. but no. i got caught since, well, that’s history. and that wasn’t my fault! plus, the only thing we’d talk about mosta the time, that time was about his problem and what he needed to solve. haha. are you getting this? anyways, so yeah. they broke up. it’s been like a month since that break up but seems like the whole world just found out a few days ago. egos, reps for whatever the reasons were of why they kept it on the down low for such a long time, i don’t know and i don’t care. really. anywho, so stupid me and stupid honesty and stupid trust [no, see the problem was the lack of it. or the abuse rather] i kinda told someone that i kinda liked the guy overtime [after the break up] but like, i didn’t mean it in a way na i’d steal him [god, you know im better than that.] or anything. you know those confused feelings where you like him but no, not really. you like the company, the friendship but you wouldn’t date him, not in a million fucking years kinda thing? yeah, that.

and i learned the had way, ex-girlfriends and the harsh world don’t mix. lmao. i don’t know what happened really. i know that people are pissed at me though because they all pretend to care or whatever. and that some people are just plain gay and love messing.

but i don’t care. if it’s about reps.. what rep?

no regrets.they’ll take me nowhere. besides, i know the story, my true friends know the story. that’s enough justice on my part. and that;s all. amen.

i miss you, kev. glad you keep in touch. hugs.

p.s. when you come back. i want stuff šŸ˜€ jp 

thank you for the silence

sunday; 10 min. to 8
confused

whatever. god, give me something.

and omg!! i’m beginning to hate hsm! sorry hsm fanatics. i’ve been hearing it too much at school, home and even church. :((
someone save me! it’s on disney channel again 😦 i swear i know the lines to this movie already. i’m sorry…

haha. anyways… keep your asses updated ā¤

you’re making this just a little bit harder </3

happy birfday miguel, mommy and jedd ā¤

i think my world is starting to revolve around ā¤ and </3. look at how lame i’ve become. dork.

follow up on last tuesday:
yeah, ayot came over. we watched tv, ate, walked around and talk. we talked about what might happen when she leaves and how it would be great having  a fresh new start. honestly, i don’t like fresh starts, they tend to rott too. but yeah, we talked about typical random stuff and talked to nina on the phone and the like. damn, i’m going to miss her. i really am.
good-byes are hard, the hardest.

wednesday, thursday:

omg, kapoi. i hate school. i hate it so much. lmao. but civics was fun cuz we watched Troy. twas wicked awesome ā¤

-i’m not afraid of dying, i’m afraid of tomorrow. hmm..

beautuiful movie with pieces of amazingy graphic shit in some parts. lmao. wicked awesome.

omg, i can hear the rats in this house. wtmf.

i have [[prjects to finish pa. omg, help me. *sob*

and yeah, migs birfday

friday: tonight

how did i decide to spend the eve of my mother’s birthday? hmm. let me site the ways.

i went to colon, in hopes that i would be able to buy more candy to sell at school on monday sadly, the 30 minute ride or so was obvious a waste because when we got there, the place was closed [6. fucker] and there was no way i could beg them to sell me there candy. but of course, granny found a way to waste their time as well, by asking the owner shitloads of questions which weren’t any of her business. sorry god, sometimes she embarasses me. :[
o: sorry kaayo, mam. naa man gud emergency…
g: unsa na emergency?
o: naai na hospital…
g: nganu man?
o: sa heart ra gud.
g: na unsa ang heart?

omg. side with me here. >:P

so, yeah, we decided to go to sm instead to buy mommy a gift and granny, well, she had her own things she needed to deal with. lol. i got her flip flops from artwork that we’re well.. ok, i guess. well, they better, i spent all the profit i made from the candy on those things. 😦 poor me, no more money 😦

i had to hurry home right after that though. jedd was celebrating his birthday party at his mom’s tapsilogan near metrosports. and omg, what a small world. richard tiu, i finally know his name knows jedd. wa lang. it’s just a small world. lmao.

jet got drunk. oh mother. lmao.

and i didn’t drink because i promised mom i wouldn’t. i didn’t drink gyud, 1 shot of tequila ra :))

ok, i’m soo tired

p.s. im stoofed. i joined the essay writting about nutrition month. and i sell candy. nice, is šŸ˜€
p.ss. i got perfect in chemistry. lmao.
p.s.s.s. i’ve forgotten you

you’re making this just a little bit harder </3

happy birfday miguel, mommy and jedd ā¤

i think my world is starting to revolve around ā¤ and </3. look at how lame i’ve become. dork.

follow up on last tuesday:
yeah, ayot came over. we watched tv, ate, walked around and talk. we talked about what might happen when she leaves and how it would be great having  a fresh new start. honestly, i don’t like fresh starts, they tend to rott too. but yeah, we talked about typical random stuff and talked to nina on the phone and the like. damn, i’m going to miss her. i really am.
good-byes are hard, the hardest.

wednesday, thursday:

omg, kapoi. i hate school. i hate it so much. lmao. but civics was fun cuz we watched Troy. twas wicked awesome ā¤

-i’m not afraid of dying, i’m afraid of tomorrow. hmm..

beautuiful movie with pieces of amazingy graphic shit in some parts. lmao. wicked awesome.

omg, i can hear the rats in this house. wtmf.

i have [[prjects to finish pa. omg, help me. *sob*

and yeah, migs birfday

friday: tonight

how did i decide to spend the eve of my mother’s birthday? hmm. let me site the ways.

i went to colon, in hopes that i would be able to buy more candy to sell at school on monday sadly, the 30 minute ride or so was obvious a waste because when we got there, the place was closed [6. fucker] and there was no way i could beg them to sell me there candy. but of course, granny found a way to waste their time as well, by asking the owner shitloads of questions which weren’t any of her business. sorry god, sometimes she embarasses me. :[
o: sorry kaayo, mam. naa man gud emergency…
g: unsa na emergency?
o: naai na hospital…
g: nganu man?
o: sa heart ra gud.
g: na unsa ang heart?

omg. side with me here. >:P

so, yeah, we decided to go to sm instead to buy mommy a gift and granny, well, she had her own things she needed to deal with. lol. i got her flip flops from artwork that we’re well.. ok, i guess. well, they better, i spent all the profit i made from the candy on those things. 😦 poor me, no more money 😦

i had to hurry home right after that though. jedd was celebrating his birthday party at his mom’s tapsilogan near metrosports. and omg, what a small world. richard tiu, i finally know his name knows jedd. wa lang. it’s just a small world. lmao.

jet got drunk. oh mother. lmao.

and i didn’t drink because i promised mom i wouldn’t. i didn’t drink gyud, 1 shot of tequila ra :))

ok, i’m soo tired

p.s. im stoofed. i joined the essay writting about nutrition month. and i sell candy. nice, is šŸ˜€
p.ss. i got perfect in chemistry. lmao.
p.s.s.s. i’ve forgotten you

AIDS, COCAINE and TECHNO ♥

it’s a tuesday and yes, i’m on the internet. yipee. but only for homework and projects. wink wink ;P

i have a new business now, selling candy and that’s all thanks to chabel. thankyou, love. soo far, soo good. i’ve even gotten the teachers to buy my goods. lmao. i actually went to colon for this candy. props, yo.

i’m drowning in school work and on top of all that, bayot’s leaving and i haven’t found the time to visit stc to see her or anything. soo busy gyud and by dismissal i’m drained to the point where i can’t even stand up. it sucks. but junior year will quickly be over and so will two years and soon after, bayot’ll be back. *starts getting depressed* everyone’s leaving 😦

anyways, i wrote a poem. a very long one about a little girl and a little boy [or 2. hehe] comments if you wanna read THAT one ;p

but here,

* so why blame me for falling?
because, sorry isn’t enough, girls have jealous hearts and all ex-boyfriends are off-limits. no matter what the circumstances are. </3

* “don’t go for him, he’s a player…”
“don’t go for her, she’s a slut…”
but they don’t care.. they just wanna be together ā¤

* she believes in love but love doesn’t seem to believe in her </3

* i think too much or don’t think at all. you turn away, and the more i fall </3

* why hate me for telling the truth? why not hate me for hiding it for soo long? /:) [this is all i have to say]

*rain ON me. rain FOR me. besides, it’s already raining IN me.

* i’ve messed down and burned down. && there’s no one ese to blame but myself

i have to do homework now.

madd love

i’m not your wasteland. i am my own!

omg, tonight is just living proof that all men are assholes. and this is why i am still single. and this is why men turn gay [as not to be judged] and this is why i hate you!

thank you, sir for ruinning my night. THANK YOU VERY FUCKING MUCH!

but anyways, you just ruined my night. i had a very eventful day. hahai.

as you see, i’m not in the mood to patronize myself tonight so, here. read it.

english – ass. 39/45. sw. 65/75. quizzes. 53/55. she is doing good in class

filipino – 20/20. quizzes. 122/140. shows interest to learn- good

science – sw. 162/180. quiz. 74/93 [note:verygood!]. she needs to be careful in answering. shows interest, good scores!

math – 26/35. 95/115. 123/130. – she listens in the discussions buut sometimes she seems absent minded. she shows positive attitude in her studies.

cle- 40/40. 45/45. 29/35. – she displays a good attitude in her studies.

social studies. 23/25, 25/33. 10/15, 36/40. 37/50. – participates very well in class, no problem w/ her behavior.

omg, i did change. lmao. no, not really. i’m chanelling my insanity.

peace, bitchez