i had fun in the library!!! ahahah it was fun like we were doing your research and shit we were drawing and you asked me yo draw and yeah i drew… ahahah it was a funny moment. it was good that i didnt go home and i waited for your break so that we could spend time together.
mwah
bye
iloveyou
dear james,
can i try out for dance troupe? cuz nina’s going to audition tomorrow and since i’m going home with her everyday, i figured i’d join and the opportunity is right in front of me. and kuan, i figured that if there’s ANY time to join something like that, it’s now. just for the first year. i just wanna know what it’s like.
and ann [your sister] said that it’s not like i’m doing a bad thing and dancing would be my devotion to god and she wants me to join cuz if she were in college, she would join too esp. na first year pa.
please? :]
i miss blogging here. im traumatized kasi, eh. i dont like ur blogs awh i mean some because theyre like all nagging and about the bad times we had. so yeah i dont wanna read the bad times we had. how about the bad times. right? hope u understand. i love you so much . and thank you for hammering or putting an effort on nailing that frame that i gave to you. i like it ahahah it looks kewl ahahah mwah. i love you. and thanx for making me happy today. i hope i made you happy too. but but but uhm my day wasnt really that complete because i didnt really get to see you like we didnt have lunch together. because im used to the fact eht we go eat lunch together. but today was a busy day for me. sorry. maybe tomorrow i will see yu more than today. i love you. bye mwah
funny thing about ALL of this is that everything kinda contrasts each other. pfft. and i thought these college kids were smart.
in my defense, the only reason why i’m as anti social as i am is because i haven’t found anyone i like. like, like in a sense that i can see myself hanging out with her on a daily basis kinda thing. so far, everyone is just loud, obnoxious and annoying.
extremely annoying.
which is why until now,
i fly solo.
so tell me, do you like what you see?
college is college. i have made enough friends and i’m not so anti social anymore. i’m so close to some people that i am already on a “be my slave cuz i’m a princess” basis with them. translation: i have people who carry my books around for me cuz i’m too lazy to bring my own. lmao.
but this isn’t why i’m blogging. idk. right now i’m just stuck.
me and james broke up. but i know it’s not for good.
and somehow along the day we managed to fix things but honestly, i cannot get over the fact that i was the one who asked if we could get back together [then he claimed that i beat him to it. which i know is complete bull.] because first of all, he broke up with me. and if were to ask me to enumerate the number of times people have said how baga his face is for breaking up with a girl for NOT a really good reason then i couldn’t tel you because everyone said it. and i don’t know how many people everyone really is.
idk, is saying fuck you really a good reason to break up? i always thought you only break up if you stop loving the person. maybe he doesn’t. but he just says he does.
we’re still not together but we’re sort of like it. i don’t know if i still want this because it’s unfair for me. it always hurts and idk.
but then again, ambot. i just know that i WANT and NEED to be with him and that’s why i bend backwards for him al the time.
i’m just lost. and tired. and really hurt.
xoxo
it’s a wednesday and i’m tired. but i don’t even think i lack sleep. i just remembered that i forgot to go to the PE Office to do that thing i’m supposed to do as NSTP Officer. haha.
i have school at 12 tomorrow but i’ll be going much earlier to have my practice for English AND Foundations of Nursing. ironically, we have a lot of role playing this week. and i thought college would be more “sophisticated”.
my mom and i are having dinner tonight and then she said we’re going to the spa. when i get home, i still have to study and make stuff for school. there really is no relaxing for me anymore.
i wanted to cry yesterday cuz i just really realized that i’m taking nursing. guess it took quite a while for it to sink in.
anyways, i’m really blank right now. bye!
the next day, we found out that a ship from manila going to cebu sank and around 800 people were missing.
yesterday, on my way to school, we passed by the pier that the ship was supposed to dock at and i just saw so many people waiting and hoping that the people they loved were safe. but noone was really sure cuz like i said, 800 people were still missing and only arund 50 survivors had been found.
idk why i decided to post a blog like this but it makes me really sad. i don’t think i would’ve cared at all if i hadn’t passed by the pier. but when we did, i just felt bad for them cuz ii know that there were children on that boat. and i thought, what if someone’s husband, boyfriend or fiance was on that boat? what if someone’s child who they haven’t seen in years was on that boat? what if someone i knew was on that boat? what if my classmates parents were on that boat? and then i just felt worse.
people die in typhoons. and i just feel really lucky to be living in a house with strong walls and a good roof.
xoxo
got home from school about an hour ago. went straight to studying and trying to figure our what i have to do tomorrow. thankfully, there’s this girl names nikki in our class who texts us everyday and tells us about school work and shit.
i think everyone in my class is finding their place or at least knows half of the class by name. in my case however, i only know them by code name. the following examples are:
and so on and so forth..
i got pissed at james today cuz at lunch he said he’d throw my wallet cuz i left it lying around. and cuz he kept nagging about my uniform how i should have it altered or how he’s excited to see nina in the uniform.
i dont think i have the right to get mad though but can i help it if i think that he’s trying to turn me into a barbie doll or if i think that he compares me to other girls or if i feel like i’m not good enough for him? because with him, there’s always something i have to change or be better at or do differently. sigh. :[
and i got pissed at him too because he gets mad when i talk to his friends. geez. some guys would be happy that their girlfriends got along with their friends. but whatever. that’s him. i can deal.
aside from that, i have blisters on my feet. and i slid a couple of times while walking and i have bandaids on my feet, too. and i’m reading the perks of being a wallflower again. because i want to feel infinite. and the book makes me feel infinite.
we have PE tomorrow. should i be excited?
xoxo.
the first week of college is FINALLY over and there hasn’t been a day since class where i haven’t been dead beat tired. i should’ve belived people when they said that college was completely different from high school. *sigh*
idk, it’s just been assignment after another. and it’s so crazy cuz some of the books that we’re required to buy aren’t even available at our book store so you can imagine the stuff i have to go through just to get the books or to get the selections of our homework that are in the books that i have yet to buy.
i wish i was in high school. it was so much easier back then.
i was looking at pictures on my multiply a while ago [issaplease.multiply.com] and i came across a picture of me in high school with my knee high socks and idk, i know that i don’t miss it but i can’t help but reminise. [sp?]
i’ve been studying the whole day and yesterday. and then tomorrow i have to wake up and do it all over again.
i think i just don’t see the beauty of all the hard work is cuz i don’t have passion for it. i think it’s true when they say that everything is just better when you love what you’re doing. but i don’t love what i’m doing. that’s the problem. but i am just being numb about the whole thing. deal with what they give you and just strive for it.
it’s all about the money at this point. forget being happy, forget everything that is supposed to matter. it doesn’t matter anymore because this was never my choice. oh well. another big *siiigh*
i got grounded yesterday for going home at around 12 riding a cab. but i didn’t actually ride a cab. i rode with james. but my parent don’t know that.
i had dinner with my friends and drank a bacardi with james. i got hit and thank god i did because it made whatever my mom said sound funny.
i stopped by james’s house to have a good talk with him. last night was perfect. so fuck whatever my mom said. i don’t know.
whether she likes it or not, i had fun. that’s all that matters now.
xoxo,
girl on the verge of insanity.
Issa Talks... Alot 