at the school internet cafe where they charge us 25.00 pesos a fucking hour when i could use the internet for FREE at the library if i only had the time to get my id validated. unfortunately, i don’t have the time and will power to do it so yeah, i guess 50.00 is going to be wasted todayy. lol

so yeah.. school’s been a bitch and my head really REALLY hurts right now. i made a silly video on tyra’s laptop today and i am going to post that on my youtube. so far i have 18 subbies and that makes me one of the happiest people in the world right now. it probably not much at all but it’s something to me. so in the end, it still means something.

i finally met kiona the other day and it was surisingly pleasant. lol. she’s weird in ways and she talks like she’s in pain or like her brain doesn’t process information enough or something like that. but yeah, she’s my sister. :] i really do want to get to know her and i proli will but it’ll take a lot of time cuz you know me with people. i’m just not good at it.

And mike. I’m at a point where i’m getting bored and tired of him. He has a life of his own. one where i’m hardly in. he is obsessed with his gym and his modeling aspirations and he only wants me on saturdays when he doesn’t have money to go out and he wants to cuddle. i never signed up for anything like this. so maybe i’ll break up with him after a month or maybe i’ll just forget that we’re together and just stop everything. HAHAH. it’s weird that we’re together, really. i’m begining to think that maybe i shouldn’t date anymore. but i know i won’t do that >]

i so badly want to play L4D right now but there is no one to play with. :[

hhjlfghskjfgh;ljg bored out of my fucking mind.

I NEED A FUCKING BREAK!

… : But what if we get hurt?
… : Then maybe we just don’t fall in love this time.

i haven’t talked to my “boyfriend” today since i texted him in the morning and honestly, it sucks because i’m always the first one to text him. he never looks for me and i’m annoyed. How can you be with someone like that?

my PMS is so bad right now and school is draining. i wish there was just someone i could come home to. someone i could fall into and cry because of the stress or someone i could just look at and be happy to be able to just end a day. ehh… sometimes i wonder why i’m so desperate to fall in love when we all know that i’m better off alone.

i’m pathetic. and mad at the world.

i hate nursing. i hate school. omg, i don’t think i’ve ever been this tired. seriously.

i wake up at 5:30, leave the house by 6:30 start school at 7:30 have lunch at 12 go back at 1 end class at 7 get home at 8 have dinner study at 8:30 sleep at 11. it’s a vicious cycle. where am i going to put my boyfriend???

i saw him yesterday though and it was the best feeling ever. like i went to his place and we just kept telling each other how our day was and what we missed from the days we weren’t together and wrestled and laughed and laughed and laughed. i felt like i was on a natural high or something. i missed him and i miss him now esp. when i’m at school and i can’t text but i’m bored. i guess i like him a lot now. i just really don’t have time for a boyfriend right now so you can imagine how hard it is gyud!

anyways, it’s 11 i’m not done studying so i really need to bounce.

i will try to update soon

remember when we were lying in bed last week and i held you close and told you that i was really starting to like you…

i never want to fall too deep in love or like with you because you’re going to hurt me. and you might just leave.

but i like you. in a great amount.

please stay.

i guess me and mike just had our first fight last night…
actually, our first break up. but then we got back together. Apparently, he’s a compulsive liar so idk wth i’m doing with this guy. but then again, it’s not my opinion of him man gud. it’s other people’s and you know i’m not one to judge. But god, i hope he doesn’t lie to me though. i hate being lied to first of all because i don’t lie.. unless it’s to my mother.

anyways, i guess uyab na gyud mi and we’re going to fix things and be a real couple now. yey, i have a boyfriend like i’ve always wanted. 😀

i’m not a slut. If i was a slut, i would be enjoying and basking in every single fucking minute of this. and right now, i wish i was a slut because it’s not fun. It’s not fun at all.

it wouldn’t matter to me if you were a convict, a squat, a whatever as long as you loved me and took care of me. That’s just how i am. I give love too much and in most situations, i give love where it isn’t even reciprocated. And now there are two of you.

You want someone who isn’t going to fool around with you or cheat or lie and someone’ll listen and be there for you… and i’m that girl for you- any one of you. Maybe that’s the problem.  So tell me, why can’t i seem to figure out who that guy is for me?

Justin, we ended on such bad terms and i like you, i like you a lot. You take things slow and you proved that you weren’t what people told me you were. I guess that’s where the problem lay.

Mike, we were fast. Like lightning. but it oddly feels right. And something happened tonight that you denied but i know you still did and i let you get away with it because i know that one day, it’ll slap you in the face. you are my BOYFRIEND and i wanna know that you want me to be your girlfriend because if you don’t then i won’t be the one to stop you because i told myself i wouldn’t do that anymore.

SOMEONE STAND UP FOR ME. I PROMISE I’LL BE WORTH IT. I PROMISE I WON’T SCREW UP. I SWEAR I’LL BE A GOOD GIRL FRIEND. NO MORE MAKING OUT WITH RANDOM GUYS AND NO MORE GETTING DRUNK.

save me 😦

i wish kevin wasn’t high then we could talk. he’s the only one that gets me. </3

i’m not a slut. If i was a slut, i would be enjoying and basking in every single fucking minute of this. and right now, i wish i was a slut because it’s not fun. It’s not fun at all.

it wouldn’t matter to me if you were a convict, a squat, a whatever as long as you loved me and took care of me. That’s just how i am. I give love too much and in most situations, i give love where it isn’t even reciprocated. And now there are two of you.

You want someone who isn’t going to fool around with you or cheat or lie and someone’ll listen and be there for you… and i’m that girl for you- any one of you. Maybe that’s the problem.  So tell me, why can’t i seem to figure out who that guy is for me?

Justin, we ended on such bad terms and i like you, i like you a lot. You take things slow and you proved that you weren’t what people told me you were. I guess that’s where the problem lay.

Mike, we were fast. Like lightning. but it oddly feels right. And something happened tonight that you denied but i know you still did and i let you get away with it because i know that one day, it’ll slap you in the face. you are my BOYFRIEND and i wanna know that you want me to be your girlfriend because if you don’t then i won’t be the one to stop you because i told myself i wouldn’t do that anymore.

SOMEONE STAND UP FOR ME. I PROMISE I’LL BE WORTH IT. I PROMISE I WON’T SCREW UP. I SWEAR I’LL BE A GOOD GIRL FRIEND. NO MORE MAKING OUT WITH RANDOM GUYS AND NO MORE GETTING DRUNK.

save me 😦

i wish kevin wasn’t high then we could talk. he’s the only one that gets me. </3

10:02pmRhianne

hi anak..are you mad at me?

10:18pmIssa

what do you think

10:19pmRhianne

hey???why?

10:20pmIssa

figure it out for yourself

you’re good at judging people. so do that and help yourself.

enjoy!

10:22pmRhianne

hey that was before

and i didnt start it?

i didnt make it?

it was not me

i dont know you before thats why nisabay ko sa ilang judgment

why??

didnt you jugde me before??

10:26pmIssa

i did but at least i was DISCREET about it. i don’t go walking around like i was some know-it-all bitch and tell people what i thought about them!

THERE’S A DIFFERENCE.

i know you didn’t start it but i know you and JD spread it. i know you two were the ones spread it.

10:37pmRhianne

hey…you’re very wrong!!sam made it and because kato imu kong giingnan ug feeler, njisabay ko sa akong kalagot but i didnt go out and nagspread what i think about you!ang ako man gani kahiubos didto ra sa akong mga friends nako gipagawas so nver say nga nagkalat ko ana

i am not GUILTY!, coz i didnt do anything!!! and that was before!!! i dont know you before and we always have that first impression so you cant blame me..i didnt blame you when you said i was “feeler”???coz thats what you think about me and i cant change it til you know me..so dont get me wrong iss..

10:39pmIssa

you never blamed me but ni sabay gihapon ka? that doesn’t make sense.

10:40pmIssa

hold on, nganu naabot man kang sam? when this was all happening, she was still hanging out with silang nikki

10:40pmRhianne

what would you do if somebody got a wrong impression of you and she lets you know that??

kato gani imung nabuhat naku iss wa naku padak.a kay kasabot raku peru i wont deny nasakitan ko thats why nakasabay ko sa ilang libak nimu

10:42pmRhianne

katong papel nabasahan to sa atong mga classmate nga wa pa kaila naku then the moment nga naka reaf sila ayo mao pud ilang mathink naku so that hurts kay wa koy gibuhat nimu

mao to nasakitan ko nakasabay ko sa ilang libak nimu..di jud ka makablame sa tawo iss if wa pa xa kalia nimi

nimu*

10:43pmIssa

you know, that’s really stupid cuz i thought that you were a feeler but i didn’t go around telling people that. YOU, you got hurt by what i did and grabbed the very first chance to attack me

hell, that’s bullshit cuz people said pretty harsh things about me too but i didn’t even bother to ask who it was cuz i know that they don’t even know me

i’d understand if you got hurt cuz i called you a feeler but what you and you’re friends did, that was so fucking unclassy

who the hell does that?! seriously!

that’s cheap ass grade school shit

10:46pmRhianne

watch your language girl di ko gusto padak on ni i just want to make things clear so ayaw ko anaa pagsturya!

10:47pmIssa

i’ll talk to you any way i want. :))

so whatever

this is over and not going anywhere

i’ll see you in school

bye

10:49pmRhianne

never ko gauna una ug tawag nimu ato iss, kasabot kag nisabay rako??WALA KO NAGKALAT!!maybe nakasulti ko sa akong kahiubos nimu sa akong “ithought” friends naku before nga u never know ang nagkalat!!

you know what, after all sa moments nga atong nakuyog sugot lang ka maruin because of senseless things!?

---

ok, if thats what you want ill talk to you at school..if kasuko imung tuohan and not my explanations, then i cant do anything about that..i loved you like my own sister and i treated you well..this hurts when all of a sudden you let go of me because of the past..learn to accept that it was the past and we dont know each other yet..(sorry to say this)ikaw na ang gaingon about ni james nga bisan unsa kadaghan inyong away nga nasakitan ka, still way makalupig sa wonderful moments ninyo together nya mauna imu lang ilabay atong friendship because of this???let me say this”BULLSHIT”!! i should have known..i admit naa koy sala by saying “ato” …im sorry!,if you wont accept my apology,thats fine with me..
bye