A lot of times. I cut, alot.

Most of the time, i only cut to somehow redirect all the overwhelming emotions I feel but yk, there are days when I just feel like “one day, I’m gonna have it in me to dig it a little big deeper and end all of this.”

That doesn’t happen that often anymore. I t used to when Alvin used to be in the picture. But I’ve happily burned that bridge.

:]

Your views on religion:

Why this? Whyyy.

Well, first and foremost, I do believe in A god but ok… nvm.

I’d really rather not

Your views on religion:

Why this? Whyyy.

Well, first and foremost, I do believe in A god but ok… nvm.

I’d really rather not

Day 3

My views on drugs and alcohol

Wow. Ok.

Let me start with alcohol. I’ve been drinking since I was in the 6th grade. During that time, I would buy a can of cali and drink it with a box of matches to give me a feel of drinking and smoking. All because I’m weird, yes. I grew up surrounded by it and I always remember a can of beer laying around the house somewhere cuz of my dead beat of a father. I don’t think that I was influenced by it though but I discovered it on my own. I never saw my mom drunk and she never encouraged me to do it either. But once I started drinking, she never really had any complaints for as long as I knew my own limitations.

At some point in my life, it did become a big issue though. I was so depressed it would come to a point where I would be drinking by myself or even busting all of my money just to drink. Let me tell you, those were sad times. It became my escape and I look back now and remember all the stupid things I did and I really do wish I thought a lot harder before..

But I’ve never done drugs. I’ve considered it on more than one occasion. I’ve been around people who use it, a lot of people I love are addicted to it. But not me. Maybe never if i’m lucky.

Probably never because I’m a coward.

Day 3

My views on drugs and alcohol

Wow. Ok.

Let me start with alcohol. I’ve been drinking since I was in the 6th grade. During that time, I would buy a can of cali and drink it with a box of matches to give me a feel of drinking and smoking. All because I’m weird, yes. I grew up surrounded by it and I always remember a can of beer laying around the house somewhere cuz of my dead beat of a father. I don’t think that I was influenced by it though but I discovered it on my own. I never saw my mom drunk and she never encouraged me to do it either. But once I started drinking, she never really had any complaints for as long as I knew my own limitations.

At some point in my life, it did become a big issue though. I was so depressed it would come to a point where I would be drinking by myself or even busting all of my money just to drink. Let me tell you, those were sad times. It became my escape and I look back now and remember all the stupid things I did and I really do wish I thought a lot harder before..

But I’ve never done drugs. I’ve considered it on more than one occasion. I’ve been around people who use it, a lot of people I love are addicted to it. But not me. Maybe never if i’m lucky.

Probably never because I’m a coward.

In ten years from now I would want to either be here, in the Philippines or anywhere outside of the Philippines.

But I know that wasn’t a literal question.

I would have to say that it ultimately depends on what I’m doing during that time. And as of today, I’m still unsure of what I want to do or who I want to be. As much as possible, I would want to stay away from the medical field and have a profession in fashion but you know… ten years?

I definitely want to have children by that time for sure.

Day 1

I am currently IN A HAPPY RELATIONSHIP! 

Today I’ve been faced with the biggest challenge yet. Preparing myself for the real world.

You see, I’ve recently moved back in to our house after “partially” moving in with my grandmother. There, I prepared everything myself and slept alone and I was away from my parents and annoying siblings. I didn’t even last 24 hours there. Right after duty I went straight home and when my mom saw me and asked why I was home I easily said, “because this is my home and I am your daughter. That means, I belong here :D”

Which made me realize how much I’m not ready to move out (if I ever do) and I’m not ready to grow up.

Funny actually because I always thought about leaving. I’m so in over my head.

I used to wonder why we never really got along or how our long night phone conversations were so intense but quickly faded when we stood face to face.

I used to think it was me who couldn’t carry a good relationship because I saw how much you loved everyone else but never me.

I used to look at myself as someone little, stupid and trying too hard because that’s constantly how you made me feel.

And I used to ask myself if we would ever be best friends like not just by name but maybe one day, by heart.

And then we say each other today- you said some things and I listened. You pretended to care and I just sat there mostly just trying to bite my tongue when it hit me.

You don’t hate me, you envy me.

And now I know why.

I used to wonder why we never really got along or how our long night phone conversations were so intense but quickly faded when we stood face to face.

I used to think it was me who couldn’t carry a good relationship because I saw how much you loved everyone else but never me.

I used to look at myself as someone little, stupid and trying too hard because that’s constantly how you made me feel.

And I used to ask myself if we would ever be best friends like not just by name but maybe one day, by heart.

And then we say each other today- you said some things and I listened. You pretended to care and I just sat there mostly just trying to bite my tongue when it hit me.

You don’t hate me, you envy me.

And now I know why.