John Mayer has taken all the thoughts in my little brain and all the words that are on the tip of my ignorant tongue and he has used them to make me feel like the biggest shit pile on the planet.

How can someone be this lonely and sad and scared and unsure and afraid and stupid at the same time?

Meron talagang pinag dadaanan.

I could write a book about us

and fill it up with beautiful stories of us that will never come true

Of adventures and dreams and words, lots of beautiful words

that I will never have the chance to tell you

I could write a million stories of us

in a million different worlds, in a million different times

in a million different languages…

but you are not mine. as much as I am not yours

So maybe I will write that story

So I can have something to remember you by

Maybe I will write epic novels and fictional stories about us

And maybe in my head they can be something real

… i’m sorry

So far away
Doesn’t anybody stay in one place anymore
It will be so fine to see your face at my door
And it doesn’t help to know that your just time away
Long ago I reached for you and there you stood
Holding you again could only do me good
Oh how I wish I could
but you’re so far away

I want you to know that you are enough.

You are enough for me and for the entire world.

The things that you have planned in your pretty little head, they are more than enough.

The dreams you’ve finally had of me, no matter how late… they are enough.

I want you to know that we have more than enough.

We have more than enough to make it through the day, to make it through this life.

We might not have all the riches or the knowledge in the world but the little that we do, it will always be enough.

We will always find a way to make it enough.

And with everything that has and is to happen,

When you are feeling that the world has had enough of your existence,

When you are feeling like you have had enough,

Always remember, my darling,  that will never have enough of you.

We are currently tired, confused and not to mention physically capable of devouring anything placed in front of you.

If it’s any consideration, at least your appetite is back and you are in bed with beautiful white sheets, fast internet and little baby cousins who love you and who you love back.

Tomorrow will be a long day so maybe we should get some shut eye

Also, it’s time we dreamed of something good again.

I am starting a new adventure today!  I am over the moon, pee in my pants, Im-gonna-burn-some-cash-on-interiors-weeeeh! Happy.

But mostly, I’ll get my clothes back. And my life back. And I’ll be in a “missing” distance from mudrabells keme keme. 

What an exciting day!

There are no words left in my tiny little brain.

I am going places, I can feel it

I’m going to conquer my mountains, cross all my bridges and swim all my seas.

I am going places, I know it. Because I deserve it.

And when I’ve searched every corner and walked every road… I will see that all my roads have always led to you.

Whoever “you” is.

– Backpack na akong dala ana kay mahal kaayo ang overweight baggage 😂

Love can be quite blinding in it’s own beautiful, messed up, idiotic, irrational ways.

I guess that’s why people often say that love is blind.

AHA.

Life is changing in so many ways and I never saw it coming. Suddenly I am changing life plans, game plans- things I thought were already set in stone which have now become bits of sand…

Am I sad? Yes, because I am human.

Am I angry? A part of me feels like it is coming.

But am I glad that it happened? With every bit and piece of my heart.

I don’t need to explain myself/ ourselves to anyone on anyone’s behalf because it has passed, we tried and at the end of a wonderful day… God made it happen.

One day we’ll be happy and one day we’ll look back at what happened and laugh or sigh over what happened and be grateful that it did.

I will be ok even if I am not completely OK right now. But I will be because I always find a way to be.