— i can feel the pressure from the blood that’s rushing out of my veins. i can feel the intenseness and let’s just say… if i think about it too much.. i might just go insane.–

— i can feel the pressure from the blood that’s rushing out of my veins. i can feel the intenseness and let’s just say… if i think about it too much.. i might just go insane.–

yea. so it’s 6:28 in the morning and i’m all dressed up. it’s nothing new… it’s a saturday. sports is my life… so i’m living it. [that sounds so… cliche. bitch] lmao. anyways, as usual, i have volleyball practice but instead of going extra early… today’s “slow mo” day for me. [hehe. that just means i’m going ta be late.] haha. anyways, i’m not ina hurry today or anything man sad. practice will be practice… hopefully there will be imporvements. [big one’s if i pray hard enough]. people won’t be all up in my grill. fuckyou,******. eatshit, bai!

sorry. [stressreliever] anyways, my week has been… tiring. bitches, here and there. trying to make the most out of the time that i have. trying to come up with more excuses to play volley. hey, i don’t love it.. it’s just that… it’s the only thing i can do that keeps my head outta things.

my grades have been up and down. i got freaking locked out my math class yesterday… fuckyou,bell!! lmao.

people, well they talk. they make me the center of their world. but, i’m not complaining… just keep him out of it.

parents… what about? they try. but it’s late. so, whatever.

anyways, i have to leave ina bit so… ima snap out of my bitchynez and bounce.

hollah. 🙂

A K R H O > B L O O D Z > SECOND HAND SMOKE <> R A I Nonmyparade > T R U E F R I E N D Z [do they still exist?] > B E E R [need some]<– random shit.

yes, i know… life can be a bitch. deal.

–> whoever said “honesty is the best policy” was seriously disturbed<–

yes, i want to be completely, utterly honest. and that i am trying to do… but you see, it’s not just me… what about them??

fuckit. they don’t understand. they never will. parentz… what’s a girl to do?

–> next blog please…

i feel so cheated. and i don’t wanna talk about it. uhm, maybe i will.. but not right now. whoever said honesty is th ebest policy was seriously disturbed.

fuckit.

i like him and he likez me… shouldn’t that be enough?

i’m soo sick and tired of people writting MY story. i hate that i don’t have the power to tell them how i feel. if i stand back at watch i know that i’ll end up in tears. and if i choose to take a stand i’ll end up crying and hurting more. but i’d rather see myself crying over something i had total control over other than, cry over something i could’ve changed but i was too scared to.

everyone tells me that the only opinion i should listen to is mine. but the voices in my head are evil. they want tou see me hurt. they want to see me suffer. they want to see other people happy over my misery.

should i hurt over something tha happened in the past that could never happen again or something that i could have yet they are trying to take away from me? i don’t know. you tell me because i’m dying to know.

i need you to tell me everything. i need to know how much you care. when someone else holds my hand… i want to know that you wish that yours were theirs.

i know that some people think that this is just another one. well, maybe it is… but i don’t need them to be all up on my grill. i know that they won’t understand me. i know i’m pretty stupid.

so, just bear with me. i need someone who can do that. can you?

don’t write my happy ending for me. i think i can do that myself

“i don’t know if i should hurt because i like you or because they won’t let me.”

sometimes, life can be so cruel. one minute, you have the world all to yourself. and then the next thing you know, rain pours down on your parade. [wait. i’ve always loved rain. so what’s the deal?] i don’t understand how people can tell me what to do all the time and everytime, i listen. Yet when my heart says something utterly obvious.. i turn away pretending to be deaf.

i keep hiding these emotions in pretending that their going to fade away. and i won’t lie to you… sometimes, i want them to stay. but if they do… i’ll end  up hurting a lot of people. i just wish they’d understand. i wish that everything was clear so that i don’t have to think that much. so that i didn’t have to analyze anything anymore. my life would be soo much easier. i don’t have time to think anymore.

i need someone.. wait! no i don’t. i need something to distract me. i need something to help me forget everything that i have to feel. that i have to suffer. i need your hands. i need your touch.

i just need someone who’s there… who’ll listen. who’ll understand. you won’t try to hurt me with their words. their comments. i need someone who’ll just be there to enjoy my happiness.

that someone hasn’t found me yet… so i’m still waiting.

***** ******** ********!

“i don’t know if i should hurt because i like you or because they won’t let me.”

sometimes, life can be so cruel. one minute, you have the world all to yourself. and then the next thing you know, rain pours down on your parade. [wait. i’ve always loved rain. so what’s the deal?] i don’t understand how people can tell me what to do all the time and everytime, i listen. Yet when my heart says something utterly obvious.. i turn away pretending to be deaf.

i keep hiding these emotions in pretending that their going to fade away. and i won’t lie to you… sometimes, i want them to stay. but if they do… i’ll end  up hurting a lot of people. i just wish they’d understand. i wish that everything was clear so that i don’t have to think that much. so that i didn’t have to analyze anything anymore. my life would be soo much easier. i don’t have time to think anymore.

i need someone.. wait! no i don’t. i need something to distract me. i need something to help me forget everything that i have to feel. that i have to suffer. i need your hands. i need your touch.

i just need someone who’s there… who’ll listen. who’ll understand. you won’t try to hurt me with their words. their comments. i need someone who’ll just be there to enjoy my happiness.

that someone hasn’t found me yet… so i’m still waiting.

***** ******** ********!

FILIPINO             82

ENGLISH             83

MATHEMATICS            86

MAKABAYAN                    88

            *AP                   87

            *TLE AND            86

          COMPUTER

            *MAPEH            92

            *EP                   82

AVERAGE:                       85.75

HEY.

GOT MY CARD TODAY AND UHM, WELL… I THINK IT SUCKS. WELL, FRANKLY, I KNOW I COULD DO BETTER. I CAN’T BELIEVE I GOT A FUCKING 93 IN ENGLISH. THAT’S BULL! I MEAN, I NEVER GET 83 IN ENGLISH! PISTI! OH WELL, ONLY GOD WILL JUGDE ME. AS FOR CLE [*EP] WELL I DON’T NEED A GOOD GRADE TO PROVE TO GOD THAT HE’S MINE. LIKE I SAID, only god will judge me.

I had volleyball practice today. Practices are well… stressful. The teams basically a mess and yes, there is a lot of room for improvement. Kathya’s decided t o switch to badminton, GOD knows why. But coach [katong paso ug nawng] decided to make me captain ball. It’s kinda shocking though, considering the fact that I screwed up with all my serves during practice and I suck. But I don’t hate it. J

Well, mother and I had a pleasant conversation on our way to school today. Lmao. Actually, it wasn’t. It was like I was being interrogated for this little issue. Apparently, they think that I’m going steady. Hahaiz. [dun roll your eyes, thinking, “not this again!” But, after she reads the letter I gave her she’ll understand. I mean, it’s not like she can stop me from making my own mistakes. Sure, she can talk and try to guide me all she wants but… when it’s gonna happen. It’s gonna happen.

->One day, I’ll fall madly in love. And it won’t matter how many times I think I will. Every romance will be different and there won’t be room to compare. I won’t have to hear people reminiscing certain events that happened in the past that I’d rather not know. He’ll be mine and I’ll be his. We’ll have each other. And nobody will be able to change that. Not even em bitchez.

Yeah. My mom did say something about not being able to stop me, but she just doesn’t want me to. Well, it’s my life anyways. She’ll have to deal with the decisions that I make. Hehe. Was that evil?

Well, I spent the afternoon at Kathya’s being a computer hog. Looking for cute layouts and well, I found this… I hope it’s al right. I think it is.

Now, I’m at home, I just finished the design for our t-shirt. It’s not that great our anything but, it’s aryt I guess. I bet the people are gonna hate it. Sorry nalang daan. J

I’m out. Hollah back. J

Smoochiez,

EEesSuh

P.S.

            Happy birthday, you! J [oldie! Bleh! ;p]

me and my chicks. me with my clicks.

guys your gonna have to be perfect for uz. we won’t faLL for yer trickz.

**i love them. am soo lucky to have them.** i couldn’t ask for anything more but your friendship**you’re the best**