7 days

they’re taking off the stitez today. woohoo. i wanna hang at the mall tomorrow. someone asked me out. i don’t know if thiz a new thing; don’t wanna think about it. spent half the night talking to him telling him shit.. everything he didn’t want to hear. im the bomb!

he scratched my heart; so i popped his ball.

i have nothing to say. lie after lie after lie. you knew this was gonna happen to us so you planned ahead. i know you said it hurt physically but what about me? did you ever stop to think about that? sometimes you can be so selfish and all you ever end up saying is that you’re sorry and that you love me. hunneh, sometimes love just ain’t enough.

do something.

im soo back into the whole mirc chatting thing. iz driving me nutz!!
i’ve missed 4 days of school so far. isn’t that like; awesome?!

im soo back into the whole mirc chatting thing. iz driving me nutz!!
i’ve missed 4 days of school so far. isn’t that like; awesome?!

and you,i don’t know what else to say but, honestly… i can’t tell you all the things you want to hear because, i’m tired of lying.

maybe i am hurt. maybe i won’t be ok as soon i as want to. maybe i did like him enough to love him. maybe he meant a lot to me. maybe at first i really wanted you to consider giving him a chance. at church i was taught to give other people another chance. but maybe, you just aren’t like that. maybe it’s a mistake. maybe there are times when i wish you weren’t like that. maybe …

but if this is the only way to make you believe that i care, that you mean something… if there really isn’t any other way.. then, i guess, i just won’t tell you how it feels. and don’t ask.

you keep saying that you only want whats best for me but i an’t help but grind my teeth and ask myself while pulling my hair, who are you to make such judgements that he couldn’t? lagi, i’m too young. honestly, i have my parents to remind me about those kinda shit. blahblah. if you told me to jump off a cliff.. i wouldn’t.. so how is this any different?

tell me, what was wrong with him? UGH! shit!

Fight for love. Give – up for friendship.

you always thought i was pathetic when it came to love but when i look backk i can’t because it was pure. i knew what i had and i kept it plain and simple.

and now, not meanning to hurt anybody all i can say is, i was pathetic listenning to someone who couldn’t listen to me.

can we both stop lying. pretending to be someone we aren’t. we’re not that great. we’re not perfect and most of all, we’re not worth believing anymore.

i want this to be the last! i’m lving my life. i wanna be happy

don’t stop me from doing this and i know you’ll get hurt with what i have to say but, you’re not the — only who feels this way.

honestly, i let you go because i know — i hope — i wish — i pray that things would fall into place. but if you could stay — if i could keep you, i swear to God, i would. if everyone respected us like they should’ve, i wouldn’t let go. but, i guess,  things aren’t supposed to end up the way we dreamed it would – how we prayed it would.

i won’t deny it, this time i want the world to know.. you meant something to me. and i don’t care who see’s it or who reads this. ** you won already, let me do my bussiness.. let me tell the world i care for him that i can’t see him like this ** turn around.

i can’t tell you all the things i want to tell you because, i know you won’t undestand, if not… i know that you would think i’m someone else — someone completely twisted. but, honestly, maybe i am. i never wanted it to be hard for us. i never wanted to pretend that i wasn’t happy when you were around.i admit, there were times when i didn’t want to see you but.. i have my reasons and only god knows and should know them.

hahaiz. i don’t know what to say in order for you to understand that, hurting you is just something i have to do. it’s not something that i dreamt of doing.. of course not. i can’t do this anymore.

– and when all the pieces fall into place, when everything is all right.. i’ll find you. i don’t know how and where but i will. and when i find you, i won’t say anything… i’ll just stand there, look into your eyes and say, ” i might have fallen for the *wrongest* one. but, you’ll make everything in my life all right again.”

i know you’ll judge me; i know you’ll discriminate and i won’t stop you. but all i ever wanted was for you to cut the bullshit. this is the last time i’m listenning to anyone.

don’t stop me from doing this and i know you’ll get hurt with what i have to say but, you’re not the — only who feels this way.

honestly, i let you go because i know — i hope — i wish — i pray that things would fall into place. but if you could stay — if i could keep you, i swear to God, i would. if everyone respected us like they should’ve, i wouldn’t let go. but, i guess,  things aren’t supposed to end up the way we dreamed it would – how we prayed it would.

i won’t deny it, this time i want the world to know.. you meant something to me. and i don’t care who see’s it or who reads this. ** you won already, let me do my bussiness.. let me tell the world i care for him that i can’t see him like this ** turn around.

i can’t tell you all the things i want to tell you because, i know you won’t undestand, if not… i know that you would think i’m someone else — someone completely twisted. but, honestly, maybe i am. i never wanted it to be hard for us. i never wanted to pretend that i wasn’t happy when you were around.i admit, there were times when i didn’t want to see you but.. i have my reasons and only god knows and should know them.

hahaiz. i don’t know what to say in order for you to understand that, hurting you is just something i have to do. it’s not something that i dreamt of doing.. of course not. i can’t do this anymore.

– and when all the pieces fall into place, when everything is all right.. i’ll find you. i don’t know how and where but i will. and when i find you, i won’t say anything… i’ll just stand there, look into your eyes and say, ” i might have fallen for the *wrongest* one. but, you’ll make everything in my life all right again.”

i know you’ll judge me; i know you’ll discriminate and i won’t stop you. but all i ever wanted was for you to cut the bullshit. this is the last time i’m listenning to anyone.

don’t stop me from doing this and i know you’ll get hurt with what i have to say but, you’re not the — only who feels this way.

honestly, i let you go because i know — i hope — i wish — i pray that things would fall into place. but if you could stay — if i could keep you, i swear to God, i would. if everyone respected us like they should’ve, i wouldn’t let go. but, i guess,  things aren’t supposed to end up the way we dreamed it would – how we prayed it would.

i won’t deny it, this time i want the world to know.. you meant something to me. and i don’t care who see’s it or who reads this. ** you won already, let me do my bussiness.. let me tell the world i care for him that i can’t see him like this ** turn around.

i can’t tell you all the things i want to tell you because, i know you won’t undestand, if not… i know that you would think i’m someone else — someone completely twisted. but, honestly, maybe i am. i never wanted it to be hard for us. i never wanted to pretend that i wasn’t happy when you were around.i admit, there were times when i didn’t want to see you but.. i have my reasons and only god knows and should know them.

hahaiz. i don’t know what to say in order for you to understand that, hurting you is just something i have to do. it’s not something that i dreamt of doing.. of course not. i can’t do this anymore.

– and when all the pieces fall into place, when everything is all right.. i’ll find you. i don’t know how and where but i will. and when i find you, i won’t say anything… i’ll just stand there, look into your eyes and say, ” i might have fallen for the *wrongest* one. but, you’ll make everything in my life all right again.”

i know you’ll judge me; i know you’ll discriminate and i won’t stop you. but all i ever wanted was for you to cut the bullshit. this is the last time i’m listenning to anyone.

|| are you happy now? ||

l e t g o, hunneh. i knew it couldn’t last. there are just some things that you can’t keep doing no matter how happy you are, no matter how much you pretend, no matter how much you could’ve loved him. you just have to let go. and when you think about it.. it only hurts a little. a little more. a little deeper. a little more each day.

i know i have to do this. i know i can live the pain cuz if this is what it takes to make everything finally fall into place, then i’ll give him up over and over again just like i just did.

god, i don’t want him to get over me because i don’t wanna get over him. i know he was ugly or a slob and a jackass ass.. but he was mine. and i knew it. not completely… but i loved how it was.

and i don’t know what i’ll do when i see him again. i wish.. ugh. i won’t wish.

HOLLAH IF YA FEELING IT