Dream Big

            I
have a lot of dreams in life but I consider most of them ambitions. I don’t
know what the difference is, really but in my own little world, the difference
is ambitions are something I want to become and dreams are things I want to
have in the future or things I want to do and the like.

             So
we already got down with the college dream in our first essay and the marriage
thing too so what’s left to talk about concerning dreams? Hmmm. I’m so lost
right now. Haha.

             Ok,
here’s one. One day I dream of living a good life. [HAHA. OMG, THAT IS SOO
LAME! And not to mention typical] No seriously, I guess one of my dreams is
that one of these days I’d wake up in my very own home with the prettiest view
right outside my window next to the perfect guy (for me. not the world.) with
sleeping kids in the next room with only one thought in my head, “God, I swear
that I could die right now and you could send me straight to hell and I
wouldn’t mind, really. I’ve been living in heaven all my life anyways.” Because
the truth is simple, I only want to be truly
happy and not just me though, I’d be selfish if I didn’t wish that the
people I love would be equally happy as I am. So I wish them happiness too. And
that’s all I really need to make it through this roller coaster. (And candy!)

             Aside
from that, I dream of being well-off, rich even (if possible). I dream of going
to places, a lot of places and meeting a lot of interesting people. I dream of
making a big impact on someone’s life. Hopefully that impact would be great
enough to get an “I can’t live without you” outta them. (hehe. Dream big)

             But
aside from happiness and interesting people I can only truly wish for a life
well lived. I want to live a life where I don’t have to look back and regret
doing this or not doing that. I
don’t want to live a life knowing that I missed this opportunity nor do I want
to be in a situation where I’m about to die and the only thing I feel like I
lack is time cuz I think that’s stupid. There’s so much time out there and I
know that it’s up to me to make the most out of it. And right now, I’m trying.
Believe me, I’m trying.

             To
cut this short, I want to live a good life. It could be a crazy life or
whatever, for as much as I care. It could be any kind of life you could imagine
as long as the bottom point is that I lived. “Live your life so the preacher
doesn’t have to lie at your funeral.” These are the words I live up to now and
they’re awesome.

             I’m
going to live my life, keep dreaming and hopefully accomplish all these dreams
of mine and I’m going to do all of these with a lollipop in my right hand and a
bottle of champagne [cuz sosyal man kuno ko!] in the other. And I’ll be
screaming and laughing my head off the whole ride cuz I’m cool like that. Haha

  -Jean
Louise I. Chua

And i didnt fcuking stop her to text anyone!!!

she can text anyone she likes!

 it’s just that she just doesnt wanna text anybody!

but i do have turtles. and a bag. and shoes.

and i will party.

it’s our own thing, ok?

Yo kevin, yeah whoever you are! why don’t you mind your own fcukin business???

ayt??

my days don’t count as much as they used to. now it just feels like i watch each day pass one by one and the more i’m not with him just makes me feel like each day feels more wasted than the other.

school’s been a downer for me and it’s just the second day of the week.i only had 3 classes today and i slept during both and for accounting, well, i would’ve slept but we didnt do anything. i usually fall asleep when there’s actually something to do. and you’d think that for some people [like me] i’d like the fact that we did absolutely nothing at school. i was actually bored of my mind. this not hanging with the guys thing is hard, no doubt. and the whole school too busy caring about bagiuo to care about school shit is just criving me craaaazy.

boo whore, i’m not going to school tomorrow. i’d rather not go through the mood swings i know i’m bound to have if i went. so i guess instead of school i’ll be ra-ta-too-e with the sister for their school thing. hey, i don’t care. i won’t be at school and i’l be with a bunch of 1st graders. omg. james, save me.

you’re on the top of my list, mister.
i want you

today’s been a lousy day for me. i’ve been tired, happy, upset and just about everything you can think of but mostly grumpy and upset.

i guess i know the reason why and im honestly sorry for feeling the way i do but i can’t help it.

i know that for the next 2 weeks everyone’s going to be talking about bagiuo. that includes the people who aren’t going and ESPECIALLY the one’s who’ll be going. yes, today is bagiuo week. and i know i didn’t want to go … but i can’t deny the fact that i’m soo – disturbed about the whole thing.

idk what’s gotten into me but yeah, i could’ve been packing right now. 8 days with no mom, no papa, no annoying siblings would’ve seemed really perfect. but then again, if i was going, i’d be reallys ad about leaving james and yeah. don’t get me wrong, it’s not like he put me up to not going because it was all me. mommy asked if i couldn’t go and i didn’t put a fight cuz i guess i didn’t want to but still. yeah. i guess i’m just used to getting what i want. especially something i really really want.

fuck. yes,  i’m  pissed cuz i’m not going and i’m jealous because god, i really really realy wish that i was.

i’m going to rebel. i need to make myself feel better.

this sucks and i just feel really mad right now.

james is sick again. 2nd time in 3 months. not good.

it’s soo unfair! why do you always get sick and i never do?!? something is seriously wrong. THAT’S WHY I KEEP TELLING YOU TO EAT YOUR DAMN VEGETABLES!!

na unsa na ka, dong.

i miss you :[

i always miss you.

get well

during social studies this week, Teacher Jojo made us list down at least 10 things that we want regardless of the cost of whatever. here are my top 20 ish wants. [hehe]

1. The Concerto

Dimensions:
70”x58”x29”
Electronics: Apple AV Connection Kit with remote
control, compatible with all iPods
Speakers: 2 x 50watt two-way speakers, 6.5’ x 1”
Amplification: 130watt
Materials: Finish plywood, poplar, stainless steel
Finishes: Bright white or black high gloss enamel
Price: $14000usd + shipping

2. Quadski
soo freaking awesome!!

3. iPhone

4. macbook

5. A colorful frog
[ok so maybe my worst fear are frogs but if i could have a red AND blue frog then my god, that would just be awesome!!]

6. Rolls Royce Phantom
ka hot.

7.

cuz i’ve heard it’s freaking awesome

8.

because i’d like a heads up. HAHA. what makes you soo sure?

9.

10. PS3

11. a min pin

12. my own bettle 😀

13. a rabbit

14. A garden snake

15. a hammy

16. a Yatch!

17. something i could rule and use my princess skills on

and then the rest are shopping sprees, a tennis racket, shoes, etc.

these are just material things… just you wait.

<Kevin>:
sounds like you guys have trust issues. :p i was gonna say something
before, when you said he doesnt allow you to text me, but now it looks
like your going further.

hey kev,
i don’t think it’s that. i guess it’s just.. i’d rather keep things safe. ttyl. i’m out