next time i’ll make my homework at school. i swear.

and i will stop skipping class na.

next semester.

you know that feeling you get when you leave and it’s not a big deal? or someone makes you feel like it’s not a big deal?

no, well THANKS FOR MAKING ME FEEL THIS WAY.

whatever.

well, i miss james tonight. but then again, i always miss him.

i wish i could tell him that. i wish i could tell him that i still love him and i wish he’s having a good life without me cuz despite how rad my life is right now, i would give it all up to be with him again. </3

i’m so broken with or without him, it’s so hard.

i wonder what i did wrong in our relationship. what i could’ve done to save it.

i just really wish things were back to normal.

i love you james. please don’t forget that. you know you’ll always be the guy for me.

most of the time, i don’t know..
i just don’t know anymore.

* me and kevin are going to prom together. hahaha. i swear to god i thought i was done with this. but you know, it’ll be fun.
diba, kev? diba? :))

 
i am soo fat, dark and ugly here 😦

this is kevin, if my memory serves me right, he’s like 20 something.
kevin is STILL in high school. how sad.
kevin likes to molest 15 year old girls.
and most people i know don’t like him. right, kev? :>

and i’m going to prom with him. geeez.

* because we went bikini shopping !!

unfortunately, i couldn’t fit into any! i will definitely consider augmentation. this is all soo sad.

 

and lastly because.. i’ve been full the whole day.

every time i have to walk from the eskina of my subdivision to my house i always get this feeling that i’m not going to make it. every time i have to walk in 2 1/2 heels in poorly asphalted ground, i always think that it’ll take an eternity before i make it to my place…

kinda like in life, right?

we always have this notion that we’re not going to make it, that it’ll take forever til we get better, etc.

but you know, i always make it home no matter what. sometimes i get there in 5 minutes sometimes longer. but the point is, i get there.

maybe i’m not exactly where i have to be right now and it may take a while but i know i will get there eventually. 🙂

— just thought i’d post something nice. because i had a nice day.

i like thinking out loud. because when i think while i talk, i tend to say the right things.

since the time i got home until now, i’ve been pinching my face because i have the greatest notion that i’m finally getting some meat there.. and i am soo happy!!

for the longest time i’ve been trying to gain weight and it hasn’t been easy. First of all because i don’t really know why i’ve been having a hard time gaining weight ever since i got dengue. i mean, it’s just been weird. i’m not sick anymore and i’m still able to play tennis or dance or whatever it is i used to do but the problem is, i just keep loosing weight and not gaining any.

at first i thought it was a good thing cuz i always thought that i was fat for such a short girl so i didn’t really mind but then my bones would start sticking out of my body and people would start asking me if i was sick or if i had an eating disorder or something and then that’s when i realized that yeah, maybe i was a little bit too skinny.

i will not admit to having a disorder because i would eat. just not that much. geez, ok i don’t know what i had but i swear to god it wasn’t a disorder.

i’ve had my parents mentioning me getting a drug test so many times because neither they could understand why i was loosing soo much weight.

so for the past 2 months i’ve been answering every craving i’ve had and i’ve practically been force feeding myself just to get some weight. i do hope i’ve gained weight and i sure as hell hope i’ll stop getting those nasty looks and talks behind my back about me being this and that cuz of my weight.

do you think it’s possible to loose soo much weight when you don’t have a eating disorde or any health problems?

 

 
october 2008

p.s. i do not care for the fugly pictures.. 😀

i know i disappointed you. i know that you’ve been looking out for me and i’m really lucky to have an uncle like you who guides me gyud bah. i know a lot of girls would be lucky to have a guy around to tell them the often not so kind truth straight up. i feel like you think i’m not taking what you tell me to heart, but i am. it’s just sometimes i don’t wanna believe it. like when you tell me what guys are after and stuff. but i know you’re right. i’m just stubborn. if i get hurt again, then those are on my terms. sometimes we need to get hurt gyud to learn. but hopefully i’ll stop getting hurt because you’ve helped me learn so much 🙂

i just wanted to say i’m sorry if i let my guard down and if i disappointed you. i know pinangga kay ko nimo and you just don’t wanna see me so miserable again. and i appreciate it. i appreciate it a lot. i’m greatful that my dad is your cousin. even if i don’t acknowledge him for anything, i’m doing so right now.

i promise i’ll be smarter next time. it’s all a learning process.

thanks for having my back, dong

hope this makes you smile!!

i know i disappointed you. i know that you’ve been looking out for me and i’m really lucky to have an uncle like you who guides me gyud bah. i know a lot of girls would be lucky to have a guy around to tell them the often not so kind truth straight up. i feel like you think i’m not taking what you tell me to heart, but i am. it’s just sometimes i don’t wanna believe it. like when you tell me what guys are after and stuff. but i know you’re right. i’m just stubborn. if i get hurt again, then those are on my terms. sometimes we need to get hurt gyud to learn. but hopefully i’ll stop getting hurt because you’ve helped me learn so much 🙂

i just wanted to say i’m sorry if i let my guard down and if i disappointed you. i know pinangga kay ko nimo and you just don’t wanna see me so miserable again. and i appreciate it. i appreciate it a lot. i’m greatful that my dad is your cousin. even if i don’t acknowledge him for anything, i’m doing so right now.

i promise i’ll be smarter next time. it’s all a learning process.

thanks for having my back, dong

hope this makes you smile!!