I May Not Be Much But I’ll Try To Best I Can

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I can’t please everybody and I know that I’m a lot bad than I am good.

You are too good for me and I don’t know why you’ve chosen to stay with me.

But I promise to take care of you and to be with you and to be completely honest and to love you.

Whatever that means or however you can show it.

I may not be much and I may not be enough for you or to other people but I will try.

 

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You make me want to bottle this happiness for a bad day because I don’t think that anyone can make me as happy as you do. I know that that’s probably not the most logical thing to say but fuck what my mind thinks, my heart says that you are the best thing that has ever happened to me.

My heart thinks a lot of things that I will never have the courage to tell you like “I love you” and “I never want this to end” and that I miss you the second you say good-bye. My mind tells me that one day you will go away but my heart says that I am never going to let that happen to us. We have a good thing and this happiness, well; it feels real so I’m going to lay it all on the line for you.

I like the way you look at me and how you I can never be mad at you.

I like how I get butterflies and chills down my spine despite my thinking that things like this are easily fleeting.

I like how the thought of you makes me smile and how I would do anything to keep being with you. Within reason, of course.

I like how I’m not so mad at the world anymore and how you make me want to be better. Not different, but better.

I like how I can survive not being with or around you but how I would still choose watching you play Skyrim at any time of the day any day.

I like how we get along so well.

I like the fact that you know me so well and how you tell me things about you that make me feel like I know you a little more than anyone else does.

I like how you smell, your smile, your arms, the way you laugh and that goofy look on your face when you do.

I like how you’re my best friend and I am not afraid of you or of what you think of me.

How you chose me despite everything and how I would never change a thing about us or how we started or why we chose to to begin with.

And although most of the time I confuse you logic and your emotions, I would not change a thing. You are everything awesome and I am right where I am supposed to be- in your arms. 

This Long Road

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I always appreciate the long talks I share with Paolo. Well, not all of them are long especially when we have good music playing in the background because I always phase out. But nevertheless, most of the conversations I have with him are good ones.

Earlier in the car we happened to talk about relationships and how hard they can be. I shared how I always figured that if it’s a relationship you’re supposed to be in then it wouldn’t be so complicated. If it’s a relationship that you’re “meant” to be in then it wouldn’t involve so much drama.

But then again, who am I to talk right?

And then I realized how lucky I am right now to have all the things that I have right now. Actually, I realize it all the time but you know, it was just one of those days when you find yourself sitting in the car and you think that there is nothing else you could want because you have it all.

I also realized that it took a long time to get here- to actually be this happy. It took a lot of loosing and finding myself. A million tears and laughs. Lessons learned and battles fought. But it seems like it all paid off. Or it’s too soon to tell..

Life has been good to me and I shouldn’t complain. People may look at their lives and wonder why life is unfair but life’s like that. And it gets crappy and it gets better. But we always sow what we reap. We always do.