i mean, in my case, yeah, i do wanna fall in love. i wanna meet someone that’ll change me without me even knowing it does that make sense? I wanna wake up one day and just tell myself that i wanna do things differently because i wanted to be a better person. but i think it’s kinda dumb that we would change ourselves just for someone else at the same time. Blah, i really have no stand when it comes to a lot of things. Consider this one.

i don’t know, really. It’s just that, i know that i can be a really good girlfriend for someone but somehow all the other girls who don’t treat guys properly or who are major flirts are the ones that get all the guys or are the ones in good relationships [by good, the guy is head over hells in love] and that just doesn’t make sense to me.

It also occurred to me that I don’t attract boys as much as others proli because i’m not as “kept” as they are. Quite honestly, i’m like a 6 year old high on crack most of the time. I think i’m even bi-polar sometimes. There are times when i’m hyper as hell and then i have my bad days when you would have to think twice before even talking to me. I have a disease. I really think i do. I’m not going to comment so much on the looks though because i’m not really pretty but there are other people who have it a little worse than i do and even they have boyfriends. No offense. [no offense taken]

i’ve head about people actually crying during the ceremony or actually while being capped and i guess i understand that. I mean, it does signify a lot, nursing is a big deal, it’s definitely not a walk in the park and on that day, we actually get acknowledged for that. It’s actually nice to be able to hear my mom say constantly that she’s proud of me and that she’s thankful of my effort because never in my life have i been beaten up so much about something i don’t have the slightest concern about.

I do think that i will end up crying tomorrow. but not for the reasons that everyone else will be crying about. After tomorrow, there won’t be anymore looking back and i can’t believe that this is where i actually am right now. Never did i think that i would one day be in a crisp white uniform with a cap… as a nurse. If i was in a crisp white ANYTHING, it would have to be a nice polo shirt or a new dress. I still can’t phase out the fact that i’m doing this to myself. I guess, if i did end up crying tomorrow it’s because i didn’t wanna be there. I would rather be dead sometimes.

of course i’m happy i got this far. i’m happy my parents are happy cuz i’m not doing this for me, i’m doing it for them. but you know what they say… you can never really be completely happy,

i’ve head about people actually crying during the ceremony or actually while being capped and i guess i understand that. I mean, it does signify a lot, nursing is a big deal, it’s definitely not a walk in the park and on that day, we actually get acknowledged for that. It’s actually nice to be able to hear my mom say constantly that she’s proud of me and that she’s thankful of my effort because never in my life have i been beaten up so much about something i don’t have the slightest concern about.

I do think that i will end up crying tomorrow. but not for the reasons that everyone else will be crying about. After tomorrow, there won’t be anymore looking back and i can’t believe that this is where i actually am right now. Never did i think that i would one day be in a crisp white uniform with a cap… as a nurse. If i was in a crisp white ANYTHING, it would have to be a nice polo shirt or a new dress. I still can’t phase out the fact that i’m doing this to myself. I guess, if i did end up crying tomorrow it’s because i didn’t wanna be there. I would rather be dead sometimes.

of course i’m happy i got this far. i’m happy my parents are happy cuz i’m not doing this for me, i’m doing it for them. but you know what they say… you can never really be completely happy,

Well make sure to build your house brick by boring brick
or the wolves gonna blow it down

If it’s not real
You can’t see it with your eyes
You can’t feel it with your heart
And I won’t believe it
Cause if it’s true
You can see it with your eyes
Even in the dark
And that’s where I want to be, yeah

IGNORANCE

Well, you treat me just like another stranger
Well, it’s nice to meet you, sir
I guess I’ll go, I best be on my way out

I could follow you to the beginning
And just relive the start
And maybe then we’ll remember to slow down
To all of our favorite parts

I’m just one of those ghosts
Travelling endlessly

Now I’m told that this life
And pain is just a simple comprimise
Ao we can get what we want out of it

Feeling sorry

We still live in the same town, well, don’t we?
But I don’t see you around anymore.
I go to all the same places, not even a trace of you…

And I’m getting bored waiting round for you,
We’re not getting any younger, and I
Won’t look back ’cause there’s no use

Won’t you promise me tonight
If it’s the last thing you do, you’ll get out…

The Only Exception

I’d never sing of love
If it does not exist

Maybe I know, somewhere
Deep in my soul
That love never lasts
And we’ve got to find other ways
To make it alone
Or keep a straight face

And I’ve always lived like this
Keeping a comfortable, distance
And up until now
I had sworn to myself that I’m content
With loneliness

Because none of it was ever worth the risk, but

You, are, the only exception

I wanna know what it’d be like
To find perfection in my pride
To see nothing in the light
I’ll turn it off, in all my spite
In all my spite, I’ll turn it off

And the worst part is
Before it gets any better
We’re If it does not existheaded for a cliff
And in the free fall
I will realize I’m better off
When I hit the bottom