[Highlight of the day]

                                                “Heart attack!!”

OoO, I’m in trouble and I have no one else to blame for it but myself!

I don’t know why I’m worrying so much, there was never a “thing” and I don’t think there ever will be, especially after what happened! What did I get myself into this time?

I know that I should just embrace the present and be ready for the future. And in line with that, I’ll be sure to be holding my racket when that day comes! I should just live in the moment that **stuff** happened. [Discretion is the key!] And that maybe ina couple of days or weeks or months I’ll here it from somebody else that my nightmare just came true. So I’m prepared.

Yeah, I’m still prayin that he’ll say the words that I will always remember till’ the day I die. And when he does say it, I won’t be dreamin anymore. :]

Omg. Everything is suddenly racing into my head and it’s making me sick to the stomach! I don’t know what to do or think anymore… all I know for sure is… because of today, I just might have ruined my chances and maybe, it’s not all my fault. If I had only told someone how I felt, all of this could be stopped. I’m sorry, there’s just no one trust worthy to tell.

today was the best.

i got my phone back, i went to yala, i slept, i talked to my teachers at school and stuff.

i had my hair cut for no good reason.

bought myself fake pearls since my mother refuses to lend me hers. ugh. LoL.

i didn’t do anythin’ great or extreme or whatevr today. kalma lang.

**i think that’s why i like today soo much.**

oh yea, me and martin are textin. iTz sUmMer aGain dYud.

OMg.                                    ¢¾Today.¢¾

Today was the best.

¢¼ Hold my hand and mean. Hold it and never let it go cuz I dont want you to.¢¼

I wish I was your awwie cuz I see you touchin and carin for it a whole lot.

But then again,  wish I had your awwie so you would take care of it for me.                                            

knock! knock! am i still invisible?

i just want you to know i’m here watchin you from a far hopin that when i turn around, you’re thinkin the same thing.

that was nice. and so are you.., just talking to you makes me different. can this be more than my ordinary… ¢Àcrush?

APRIL 13, 2005

Highlight of the day:

                                   “issa, dalawa, tatlo.”

And once again, I find myself sitting in front of the computer typing… typing. Typing down everything that has happened to me for the past days or the day, at the least.  Computers are so much safer than pieces of paper! And today, I learned it the hard way! As you all know, my ever-dearest mother and me aren’t in the best of terms. I woke up at 6 something to the sound of her voice saying “ate issa, di nata mag away ha?” with a nod and a little unsure ness I went back to sleep knowing that the chances of that ever happening was way slim. But hey, if saying “yes” would shut her up then hey, I’ll start saying yes to everything she says!

So after I took a bath, I went down stairs for breakfast… and I wish I didn’t. “ako pa’y selfish?!” wtf?! What was she talking about?

Which is where I conclude that I shall never trust paper again! And if I do, no form or anger or love or hurt shall be placed on it. And until my mother learns to mind her own god-damn business… I’m postponing the usage of my diary. [The notebook kind]

 So once again, I’m cell phone less,  my friend is mad at me, I’m mad at my friend  and my relatives from M-a-n-I-l-a are here. [Hey, I can still go the ayala… it’s all good!]

Now after all this bad luck in these couple of days, what’s the best part of it?  I say, is still crushing on him.  But then, he can’t see me.  I’m alive in MY dreams and there everything is perfect. If I had to predict something far more than true… it would be that… I’m invisible.

                                                “Issa, duha, tulo”

                                        [oMg! Pinansin mo ako!]

You noticed me! :’’’] [Tears of joy!]

Peace.

.. today is just not “one of my days” ..

oMg. this day is just too frustratin.. i think i’ve had enough of it! zZzZzzZzzZZzzZZz… wAit. not until i finish this blog. [lucky bastard]

honestly, i could go through the time and effort of cuttin myself some much deserved slack and sayin that today isn’t as bad as i think it is.. yea, i could say tha’ buh then, i’d be lying and my mOmMa taught me never to lie. [buh, we all bend the rules on “special occasions”.. consider this, normal.]

so here i go, sharin my disfunctional life to the world.. so ya’ll can laugh yer freakin heads off!

so, my “bad luck” started when i almost felll off the freakin jeepney on the corner of BBRC. it was soo humiliating! ugh. can’t believe i had the whole jeep starrin at my ass.. [well, of course.. i do get out of the car head first.]  screw that drunk driver. hope madakpan to xa!

i reached san case early today.. wel, early for me that is. it was all good.. well, i thought it would be.

anyways, edgar [elnaaa!!] got there early and since i had brought a really cool lookin takyan with me and he was the only person who was willing to play with me, YOU GUESSED IT! we played. har har.

and just about when i was havin a good time “chica chica-ing” my freakin trick knee played a trick on me!  and i was like, so affected the whole time! i mean, walking was hard enough, imagine having to JOG 8 rounds around 2 tennis courts!! MURDER!

and just about when the knee probie was working out, my mother.. my favorite person in the whole wide world HAD to suck out the little bit of happiness left inside of me! she called m up.. rightin the middle of tennis and she was all, ” can you just not go out today cuz we don’t have a maid and i need you to babysit!!” ugh. so, that meant, i couldn’t go to chub’s nalang! and i wanted to soo bad! ugh.

*what did i do to deserve this?! i eat my veggiez! *

so now, there’s the jeep, the knee, the call, the guy [i’d rather not talk about it!].. stayin home all day.. you sure you wanna hear that one?!

oMg. iT was the best.. nOt! watchin over a 2 year old and a 6 year old is like, not the best job ever! which is why im not suprised our helpers all wanna go home. i wanna run away, from my own family!

all day long, my mom was makin yaw-yaw which seems to be her god given talent. she kept tellin me how irresponsible i am. wtf?! 

*sorry lord.*

but, i’m almost over all of this now. unless i run into some more bad luck, like.. the computer shut’s down while im typin or i don’t get to save this. if i do though, someone up there feels sorry for me.

oh, and more bad and sorta good news.. my aunts from manila are comin over. i think i’ll go on the bad side right now. don’t get me wrong i miss and love them alooot it’s just.. bad timing.liman ka, wa mi katabang and then mabot cila!? kinsa ma’y mag yaya kuno beh?! ako nasad?! ah, paita gud ana!!

hahaiz. i hate today. no one to text. no one to talk to. no clothes [that are nice] to wear. no where to go.

and then there’s Lagz. just when i thought i was gettin lucky tonight…  WWWHHYYY?!?!?!?!

aa_bebe_phat_aa

peace. not to lagz though.

.. today is just not “one of my days” ..

oMg. this day is just too frustratin.. i think i’ve had enough of it! zZzZzzZzzZZzzZZz… wAit. not until i finish this blog. [lucky bastard]

honestly, i could go through the time and effort of cuttin myself some much deserved slack and sayin that today isn’t as bad as i think it is.. yea, i could say tha’ buh then, i’d be lying and my mOmMa taught me never to lie. [buh, we all bend the rules on “special occasions”.. consider this, normal.]

so here i go, sharin my disfunctional life to the world.. so ya’ll can laugh yer freakin heads off!

so, my “bad luck” started when i almost felll off the freakin jeepney on the corner of BBRC. it was soo humiliating! ugh. can’t believe i had the whole jeep starrin at my ass.. [well, of course.. i do get out of the car head first.]  screw that drunk driver. hope madakpan to xa!

i reached san case early today.. wel, early for me that is. it was all good.. well, i thought it would be.

anyways, edgar [elnaaa!!] got there early and since i had brought a really cool lookin takyan with me and he was the only person who was willing to play with me, YOU GUESSED IT! we played. har har.

and just about when i was havin a good time “chica chica-ing” my freakin trick knee played a trick on me!  and i was like, so affected the whole time! i mean, walking was hard enough, imagine having to JOG 8 rounds around 2 tennis courts!! MURDER!

and just about when the knee probie was working out, my mother.. my favorite person in the whole wide world HAD to suck out the little bit of happiness left inside of me! she called m up.. rightin the middle of tennis and she was all, ” can you just not go out today cuz we don’t have a maid and i need you to babysit!!” ugh. so, that meant, i couldn’t go to chub’s nalang! and i wanted to soo bad! ugh.

*what did i do to deserve this?! i eat my veggiez! *

so now, there’s the jeep, the knee, the call, the guy [i’d rather not talk about it!].. stayin home all day.. you sure you wanna hear that one?!

oMg. iT was the best.. nOt! watchin over a 2 year old and a 6 year old is like, not the best job ever! which is why im not suprised our helpers all wanna go home. i wanna run away, from my own family!

all day long, my mom was makin yaw-yaw which seems to be her god given talent. she kept tellin me how irresponsible i am. wtf?! 

*sorry lord.*

but, i’m almost over all of this now. unless i run into some more bad luck, like.. the computer shut’s down while im typin or i don’t get to save this. if i do though, someone up there feels sorry for me.

oh, and more bad and sorta good news.. my aunts from manila are comin over. i think i’ll go on the bad side right now. don’t get me wrong i miss and love them alooot it’s just.. bad timing.liman ka, wa mi katabang and then mabot cila!? kinsa ma’y mag yaya kuno beh?! ako nasad?! ah, paita gud ana!!

hahaiz. i hate today. no one to text. no one to talk to. no clothes [that are nice] to wear. no where to go.

and then there’s Lagz. just when i thought i was gettin lucky tonight…  WWWHHYYY?!?!?!?!

aa_bebe_phat_aa

peace. not to lagz though.

.. today is just not “one of my days” ..

oMg. this day is just too frustratin.. i think i’ve had enough of it! zZzZzzZzzZZzzZZz… wAit. not until i finish this blog. [lucky bastard]

honestly, i could go through the time and effort of cuttin myself some much deserved slack and sayin that today isn’t as bad as i think it is.. yea, i could say tha’ buh then, i’d be lying and my mOmMa taught me never to lie. [buh, we all bend the rules on “special occasions”.. consider this, normal.]

so here i go, sharin my disfunctional life to the world.. so ya’ll can laugh yer freakin heads off!

so, my “bad luck” started when i almost felll off the freakin jeepney on the corner of BBRC. it was soo humiliating! ugh. can’t believe i had the whole jeep starrin at my ass.. [well, of course.. i do get out of the car head first.]  screw that drunk driver. hope madakpan to xa!

i reached san case early today.. wel, early for me that is. it was all good.. well, i thought it would be.

anyways, edgar [elnaaa!!] got there early and since i had brought a really cool lookin takyan with me and he was the only person who was willing to play with me, YOU GUESSED IT! we played. har har.

and just about when i was havin a good time “chica chica-ing” my freakin trick knee played a trick on me!  and i was like, so affected the whole time! i mean, walking was hard enough, imagine having to JOG 8 rounds around 2 tennis courts!! MURDER!

and just about when the knee probie was working out, my mother.. my favorite person in the whole wide world HAD to suck out the little bit of happiness left inside of me! she called m up.. rightin the middle of tennis and she was all, ” can you just not go out today cuz we don’t have a maid and i need you to babysit!!” ugh. so, that meant, i couldn’t go to chub’s nalang! and i wanted to soo bad! ugh.

*what did i do to deserve this?! i eat my veggiez! *

so now, there’s the jeep, the knee, the call, the guy [i’d rather not talk about it!].. stayin home all day.. you sure you wanna hear that one?!

oMg. iT was the best.. nOt! watchin over a 2 year old and a 6 year old is like, not the best job ever! which is why im not suprised our helpers all wanna go home. i wanna run away, from my own family!

all day long, my mom was makin yaw-yaw which seems to be her god given talent. she kept tellin me how irresponsible i am. wtf?! 

*sorry lord.*

but, i’m almost over all of this now. unless i run into some more bad luck, like.. the computer shut’s down while im typin or i don’t get to save this. if i do though, someone up there feels sorry for me.

oh, and more bad and sorta good news.. my aunts from manila are comin over. i think i’ll go on the bad side right now. don’t get me wrong i miss and love them alooot it’s just.. bad timing.liman ka, wa mi katabang and then mabot cila!? kinsa ma’y mag yaya kuno beh?! ako nasad?! ah, paita gud ana!!

hahaiz. i hate today. no one to text. no one to talk to. no clothes [that are nice] to wear. no where to go.

and then there’s Lagz. just when i thought i was gettin lucky tonight…  WWWHHYYY?!?!?!?!

aa_bebe_phat_aa

peace. not to lagz though.

TENNIS, D PARTY and MY NEW BABY BROTHER… Plus more.

oh my god!

what is up? haha. sorry. i haven’t been updating this thing ina while. i mean, i want to.. i jst, don’t. simple. lmao. anyways, so this was like our first week of tennis and saturday and sundays are like, the only days i get off cuz i havta wake up hellah early. well, i had to cuz nikki and chub would come over at like, 6:30 but we changed stuff and now, i go to san case by my self.. okie ra pud. anyways, there are alot of theresians there. but mst of them are in the beginers classes, i’m in secindary and the rest [nikki, claire and kaira] are in advance. well, saon taman. anyways, at the start. i started hangin out wit em buh then, i dunno the freakin coaches started calling me signal number 4 and they were all, kaw, youre still new and pa badlong na au ka! fuck them all. i dont care. they ain’t mah momma’z.. so just shut up ***c***! whoopz. that was too much. i take it back…..

oh, there are alooot of cute guys there too! grabeh. but, who cares.. im a one girl anti-boy society. im savin my first kiss. keepin mah goodiez. waitin for my soldier, prince charming, one man who can do all he can.. to please me. talkin bullshit here, but it’s the truf!

d party:nigg

   yea. haha. okie, there was some stuff happenin. i showd some skin. danced like hell.. drank. ate,. not so much on the “singin” though, cuddled up like hell and screamed till we couldn’t hear our own voice’s no’ mo.! 🙂 niko, lagz and paulo were there. paulo had some freaky ghost stories but, i doubt that they were actually real. lol. it was all fun. for the moment. when i went home to tita annie’s house.. i felt.. weird. *this is the part where i shut up.

my baby bro:

world, i introduce PAOLO ALEXANDER CHUA! payts bah?! yea, i have another brother. i dn’t mean to sound un grateful or anything but i’m having doubts. my life is a mess.. tha’s why im serious when i say that i need that souldier! im waitin.

today:

summer job.. chicz gotta spend. still waitin for that soldier wit the thick bank account.

okie, i gotta go.

peace.™

iTz liKE tHA ya’LL!! dO yOu rEALLY knOw wHAt kiNdDa giRl i aM?!?! 😀

jopay!!♥catch me, ima bout to fall.. just hope not in bed ;p .. kiPpn tIz temPle fO’ d hOney mOon »

chew,

haha. i don;t know why i said that. anyways, today was ayt. i woke up at 5:30 in the morning!! [duh!] to like go online for like 5 minutes and prepare for tennis since nikki and chub came over at like 6:30 [even though d tennis clinic doesn’t start at 9] Ü it was raining HARD. so d clinic was cancelled but when the sun came out at about 9:30, me and justin [this small kid na hilas!!] played for a while. chub played with his sis, lace and nikki with the coach.. or was that the ball boy.. we’ll never know!!  haha.

anyways, it was like soo freaky after tennis cuz me and chub walked to the block of i.t. park and like, there were these street kids chasing us and like people in mini jeeps messin wit us. it was like this nightmare.. except the people were uglier. waaay uglier.  ♥ Nax.♥  we went to school to get my reservation but they wouldn’t let me in for wearrin shorts!! screw them! the guard was just freakin jealous! haha. wtf?! then, chub went to natio to buy stuff for something. dun ask me.  after tha, we went to lil haven to pick up casey and anton.

when we got home, we ate then waited for chub’s mom to pick her up and then.. i went straight to bed! i was soo tired [as i usually always am.]

oh, something cool happened. my old babysitter sent me a message [friendster]. la lang. i asked if i was a pain in the ass and she said that i wasn’t. LoL. but we all know tha ain’t true no more.  she also said that i was smart.. well, i am.. ima smart ass.

uhm, don’t have much to say. so, im out.

much <3. -smaxandbeermugs-.

peace ™

 <- u knew it was wrxng to mess wit me->

..shortstuff..

bEbe_phAt

[lookin out for the summer boys ;p gotta racket in mah hand and trust me, im not afraid to use it! whaPpack! iMa whoOp yOu lika tEnNis bALL.” just playin ” <or am i?!? >]

hey!!

im back! after a week of being grounded! argh. well, i have tennis tom. unya nlng ko mo chika okie? cuz im sortta ina hurry here. bye!! 🙂

oh, and yeah!! the results are here!! im not done wit it yet!!

peace!

dun be hatin.. 🙂