you are such a man to me

i love it when i see boys cry. in my eyes, they instantly turn from stupid boys who crave for nothing but porn and slutty looking girls to real men with real dreams who know what they want. Not just that, but they become living examples that no one can have everything in life and that yes, somethings just can’t last forever. or simply, they  make me remember that animals like them have feelings to. lmao.

tonight, i saw a crazy boy who i love terribly transform from my stupido playmate-o to a man. in front of my very eyes, i saw right through him and how desperately he wanted to be loved the way he shows love to that one special girl he would run to the end of the world and back again for. i could think of a thousand lines to make him feel better like, “it’s ok, i love you.” and etc. etc. but i know that that wouldn’t be as convincing as to how valid it is. i know that those aren’t the words he wants to hear and it makes me pity him soo much because he deserves better. not from someone else but from that very person he’s expecting.

“she just doesn’t know how lucky she is to have you…”

i want someone like him, no doubt about that. god, give me someone like that. i want to be lucky to have him and i want him to be lucky to have me because i am worthless. yes, that’s what i am.

i don’t look at myself and think that i’m the kind of girl that deserves a sweet guy. the kind that’ll come over to bring me choc’s or a dvd i’ve been craving. i’ve become the one that no one wants to take seriously. i have become the joke

about the dry sex thing which, btw i would NEVER do until i’m mrs. someday… in more pleasant words, i look at myself and i can imagine being taken complete advantage of and i don’t know how that happened. i blame the media.

no, seriously. maybe i’m in it for the fun. but common, dogs are fun.

i’ve drifted off in my own thoughts.. let’s go back.

argh,i can’t think anymore. oh yeah, so listening to him talk like that, hearing his thoughts out loud made me want to cry so bad because, there he was, being emotional, being a man and she didn’t even know it. </3

if all guys were like him and if girls didn’t play around either. i swear, i wouldn’t be writing this. lol.

hahai. i wanna break down. PMS again. watery eyes and a sober heart that speaks the truth. this is humiliating.

hot is superficial to me now. i just want to be loved. loved the way he loves her.

if one day i don’t talk to him or treat him like he’s invisible, i want him to think that i’ve ruined him. and when i find out that that’s how he feels, i’ll say…”i didn’t say anything to you but you were on my mind the whole time.” ❤

boys, boys, who are you and where do you come from? </3

i’m DUNZO. i quit. </3

are you sure those tears are worth it?



sweet sixteen anyone?

yes, call it desperation, me being spoiled or a shoegasm…just get these shoes for me. or keds. and i swear, i’ll sleep better.<3 i’m going shoe hunting in manila, yo. i need those shoes. [as seen above] lmao.

anyways, so finally, end of p.t.’s na gyud. yey. i practically butchered my Chemistry test. bad move. sos. 2nd grading. pfft. lmao.

anyways, so today was jet’s party. that was FUN. [true na gyud ni!] yeah,it was. theonly thing that sucked about the whole thing was that i didn’t bring my suit. PANCIT!!!

sorry to whoever i stole this from, i need it ❤

yum, check this out. we can manage to do this with just 3 girls. I bet this shit would be really easy to pull off. i wanna try it. at least 3 people at the end and we could do some cheers then ending na or explosions or in the middle then hataw OR beginning kay cheers para bongga. i’m just saying… :]

are you sure those tears are worth it?



sweet sixteen anyone?

yes, call it desperation, me being spoiled or a shoegasm…just get these shoes for me. or keds. and i swear, i’ll sleep better.<3 i’m going shoe hunting in manila, yo. i need those shoes. [as seen above] lmao.

anyways, so finally, end of p.t.’s na gyud. yey. i practically butchered my Chemistry test. bad move. sos. 2nd grading. pfft. lmao.

anyways, so today was jet’s party. that was FUN. [true na gyud ni!] yeah,it was. theonly thing that sucked about the whole thing was that i didn’t bring my suit. PANCIT!!!

sorry to whoever i stole this from, i need it ❤

yum, check this out. we can manage to do this with just 3 girls. I bet this shit would be really easy to pull off. i wanna try it. at least 3 people at the end and we could do some cheers then ending na or explosions or in the middle then hataw OR beginning kay cheers para bongga. i’m just saying… :]

you and me will never be good enough </3

nothing ever is enough for you. there’s always something extra. something you want, expect or secretly want and drop hints for until you get it. maybe one day, there won’t even be a you and me. no more duo’s. no more teams.

periodicals are useless. i mean, there’s nothing to study and nothing to do. well, at least i don’t have to be in school the whole day. i’ll take being pointless than nothing. smug.

excited for band practice. no, we haven’t gone anywhere and you can’t take our place. in the words of anne, shine off. in my words, glitter back. haha.

no, i don’t know what that means. i just think it sounds cool. so, ok. i’ll live with that

dodging feelings

issa doesn’t care. issa likes to forget. issa likes to feel things that don’t really exist – she likes to live in her own little world where she’s proclaimed herself queen.

issa likes to create her own feelings, her own problems, her own diseases. issa likes to play with things that she doesn’t like and then dump then when she’s tired with em. well, it depends. issa likes to be weird. she thinks she’s normal like that.

she thinks about the future too much and what her children might be and what they might turn into. she likes to draw outfits that she plans to wear. she likes money. not other people’s money but hers. money that she’s earned fair and square. she wants to be a corporate something one day. she works for no one. no one.

she doesn’t like being alone all the time but enjoys her own presence. nowadays, she thinks that single is the only way to go. maybe she’ll never get married. poor her. poor dreams.

issa’s crazy but she loves referring to herself as the third person. she thinks she’s “cool” like that. hey, the world’s too big and superficial to categorize cool.

if she could, she’s spell his and her with those letter noodles. she thinks that would be fun. if she could, she’d keep him. although she doesn’t really know who “he” is right now.

she’s learned to much about the world in her 15 years of living. she’s aware and scared.

save her tonight. but make sure she wants you to. mahirap na ang kalaban.

pms. be afraid. be very afraid.

short-term attraction span

the thing i’ve realized with me is that, i’ll like you for a second and 3 seconds after that, i’ll completely forget whatever it is i was supposed to be feeling or whatever it is wanted from you. i’m not sorry for that. it’s makes everything more thrilling.

my heart will only start to remember who you are or what i want from you when i know that i can’t have you/ it or when i’m really into you. now isn’t that sad? i call this lust. and it sounds sexy. haha.

today, i want something new brought to the table. i want something i know for sure that i cannot have. i don’t know from who but i know that after today, i don’t want it bad. i have respect for patience again.

babe is a pig and i am a princess.

26 days til my birthday. i want keds and a fighting fish and a coloring book with jumbo crayons. a good book. a boyfriend. no, not that. not anymore.

i’m weird again. but this is fun, really. HAHA.

i wanna talk about it. yeah, i do. but like, i don’t see the point. i just want to see what happens. 1, 2 and 3. wow, that’s a big number, even for me. haha.


short-term attraction span

the thing i’ve realized with me is that, i’ll like you for a second and 3 seconds after that, i’ll completely forget whatever it is i was supposed to be feeling or whatever it is wanted from you. i’m not sorry for that. it’s makes everything more thrilling.

my heart will only start to remember who you are or what i want from you when i know that i can’t have you/ it or when i’m really into you. now isn’t that sad? i call this lust. and it sounds sexy. haha.

today, i want something new brought to the table. i want something i know for sure that i cannot have. i don’t know from who but i know that after today, i don’t want it bad. i have respect for patience again.

babe is a pig and i am a princess.

26 days til my birthday. i want keds and a fighting fish and a coloring book with jumbo crayons. a good book. a boyfriend. no, not that. not anymore.

i’m weird again. but this is fun, really. HAHA.

i wanna talk about it. yeah, i do. but like, i don’t see the point. i just want to see what happens. 1, 2 and 3. wow, that’s a big number, even for me. haha.