When I meet God I’m not going to ask him questions like, “why do you allow suffering on earth?”.

I want to ask him things like:

• What’s your favorite pizza?
• Who makes the best burger in the world?
• Why did you make me short, angst-y and extremely moody?
• Where did Amelia Earheart go? (But I’m sure everyone has asked that)
• How can world domination be achieved? And after he tells me, I’ll then ask him very nicely to reincarnate me so I can do so…
• Why am I always the hungriest when there is no food for me to eat? Like now. I’M SO FREAKIN’ HUNGRY I’M GOING TO DIE.
• What’s at the bottom of the ocean?
• Why do the Kardashian’s exist?
• Why people can’t mind their own goddamn business? And why do they suddenly feel such a sense of entitlement over things that do not involve them? Did I ask for your opinion? I think not.
• Actually, the last bit isn’t much of a question as it is a passive blow to whoever is reading this… you judgement scum, you.
• Why is steak expensive and why am I dreaming of consuming a medium rare steak from SnR that I haven’t had in almost a year?
• Nganu pirmi man ko gutom?
• What exactly does the tooth fairy do with all those teeth?

And one of life’s greatest mysteries…

• Where do those lost socks go?
• Is there a special place in heaven for lost socks, hair pins, earring locks, ballpen covers and the like?

Ok,  good night. Maybe.

1. I got to roll around in bed for an extra 30 minutes cuz mom was late

2. I FINALLY finished the website/ blog I was working on, after a bajillion years. Please check out http://www.citiwear.wordpress.com to share my happiness.

3. I only smoked 3 cigarettes today. I’ll do less tomorrow. 

4. That I got my package from Beautymnl.com and that the eyebrow pencil I badly need is pretty decent

5. Jonas braved the traffic from the office to my house to go to SM. So nice of him.

6. I got to eat pizza even if I wanted some deep fried, hwart clogging goodness. I’ll try to get some ginabot tomorrow… Even if I have to walk for it!

7. I had coffee twice today.

8. Ate calamares… Even after bitching at my mom cuz the maid forgot to cook me lunch. Please refer to precious post for that 5 minute bratisode.

9. That I met up with an old friend after a very, VERY long time. Hi Gladys! 

10. I was also able to make a bunch of marketing materials for citiwear. Please order shirts from me, I need Singapore money. Lol.

11. I got to play with Barbie and Meow after a week of not seeing my fur babies.

12. That I was able to plot a lot of things to accomplish within the week/ tomorrow.

13. Alex and Jet turned a year older today.  I am grateful for their existence.

14.  My good friends are celebrating their anniversary today. I’m so happy they found each other because they couldn’t be more right for each other.

Late night thoughts (because it’s raining and I am alone): I don’t know what’s in store for me because quite frankly, sometimes I am too afraid to look too far into the future. But scared or not, I know there’s a forever for me in there… Somewhere.

But that’s the problem with finding yourself at the beginning again- everything feels like eons away… But then again, I’d rather be here than still be stuck there. 

My dog is so ugly. I hate her.

1. Ampalaya
2. Okra
3. Beans that make squeaky noises when you eat them
4. Ginamos
5. Talong
6. Dugo- dugo
7. Spicy lechon
8. Kimchi
9. Sisig
10. Bicol express
11. Eggs

… and a few other things.

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE KEEP THIS IN MIND THE NEXT TIME YOU TRY TO FORCE FEED ME

1. That I was able to go to church today
2. That I got to spend time with my family
3. That I got 2 new flats
4. That Jonas was invited to lunch (even if he didn’t go)
5. That we got to go to Lovey Doggy and I got to play with ALL THE DOGGIES
6. That I got to drink 2 glasses of coffee (hot AND cold. Yes)
7. That we ate cool, fun food from Gaisano Country mall (of all places. lol)
8. That I got to plan my entire week
9. That I’m in bed by 10:30 with my face washed, toned, moisturized, serum-ed
10. That I am excited for the week ahead
11. That great things are about to come

I’m going to TRY and list down the things I am grateful for each day so I never forget to be contented.

Have an awesome week ahead, here’s a picture of me with a pug

When I moved back to the city I couldn’t wait for my life to pick up again. To see friends, be with my family, work, go to events, blog/ vlog, live a life so busy I didn’t have time to even think.

Now I just want things to slow down a bit, in certain areas, so I can go back to thinking and enjoying the lavender scent of my room. So I can have the luxury of sitting down and collecting my thoughts. So I can allow myself to contemplate on the things worth keeping, letting go and crying over.

Don’t get me wrong, I am the most grateful person in the world right now. God has given me more than I deserve and I know there is more to come.. It’s just that sometimes, I like to stop and smell the flowers.

So I’m going to. Today. And then life can be a bitch again to me tomorrow.

“I don’t feel any preyshur right now…” NOT.

I truly feel like everyone I know and love is fully invested in my betterment and as much as it is heart warming, it is at the same time, extremely intimidating.

I got a bag a beautiful doctor’s bag and South Sea pearls from my grandmother who is rooting for me to clean up my act and be the best version of myself.

As a bribe to take her out on Thursday and in an effort to improve my wardrobe, my mother and aunt bought me beautiful clothes that are easily the best things I could have in my wardrobe.

My best friend, Alex and her boyfriend Jun, have been so gracious as to supply me with different creams and serums so that I can finally have a night and day time skin care regimen because I have developed premature eye wrinkles and they believe that I among everyone else should have nice skin. Mostly because they know it is time for me to start taking care of myself.

Jonas has been cheering me on and praising me when I feel like absolute crap. He says he’s proud of me when I feel like there’s not much to be proud of and he’s witnessed countless panic attacks which happen quite periodically. This gives me enough reason to believe that I am the most unstable human being in the universe and that I might as well be diagnosed with some form of schizophrenia. I really am mental.

I know that I have always been destined for something bigger, something great and as much as the preyshure should make me excited, I admit for the most part that it is scaring the shit out of me.

What if I never find that one thing that makes me great? What if I’m really not that great, after all? What if I’m just meant to spend the rest of my life thinking I’m gonna get my moment and it never actually happens? I cannot susi the situation and I wish that I could predict the future because that would make my life a lot easier.

I don’t want to disappoint anyone but most of all, I do not want to disappoint myself. But how do I do that when there are a lot of times that it is so hard to even just function?

I cannot wait for tomorrow.

Always wanted to die young because of its theatrics. People crying at your funeral saying “gone too soon” and “what a waste”. But I realize now that there are some things greater than a room full of people crying over an ended life- it’s a room full of lives you’ve touched and molded over the years.

My great grandmother passed away at 91 years old with 9 children, countless grandchildren and the list goes on … And it is from her that I have learned that life is definitely better when lived! Rest in peace, Lola Luz. You will be missed!