i mean, in my case, yeah, i do wanna fall in love. i wanna meet someone that’ll change me without me even knowing it does that make sense? I wanna wake up one day and just tell myself that i wanna do things differently because i wanted to be a better person. but i think it’s kinda dumb that we would change ourselves just for someone else at the same time. Blah, i really have no stand when it comes to a lot of things. Consider this one.

i don’t know, really. It’s just that, i know that i can be a really good girlfriend for someone but somehow all the other girls who don’t treat guys properly or who are major flirts are the ones that get all the guys or are the ones in good relationships [by good, the guy is head over hells in love] and that just doesn’t make sense to me.

It also occurred to me that I don’t attract boys as much as others proli because i’m not as “kept” as they are. Quite honestly, i’m like a 6 year old high on crack most of the time. I think i’m even bi-polar sometimes. There are times when i’m hyper as hell and then i have my bad days when you would have to think twice before even talking to me. I have a disease. I really think i do. I’m not going to comment so much on the looks though because i’m not really pretty but there are other people who have it a little worse than i do and even they have boyfriends. No offense. [no offense taken]

i’ve head about people actually crying during the ceremony or actually while being capped and i guess i understand that. I mean, it does signify a lot, nursing is a big deal, it’s definitely not a walk in the park and on that day, we actually get acknowledged for that. It’s actually nice to be able to hear my mom say constantly that she’s proud of me and that she’s thankful of my effort because never in my life have i been beaten up so much about something i don’t have the slightest concern about.

I do think that i will end up crying tomorrow. but not for the reasons that everyone else will be crying about. After tomorrow, there won’t be anymore looking back and i can’t believe that this is where i actually am right now. Never did i think that i would one day be in a crisp white uniform with a cap… as a nurse. If i was in a crisp white ANYTHING, it would have to be a nice polo shirt or a new dress. I still can’t phase out the fact that i’m doing this to myself. I guess, if i did end up crying tomorrow it’s because i didn’t wanna be there. I would rather be dead sometimes.

of course i’m happy i got this far. i’m happy my parents are happy cuz i’m not doing this for me, i’m doing it for them. but you know what they say… you can never really be completely happy,

i’ve head about people actually crying during the ceremony or actually while being capped and i guess i understand that. I mean, it does signify a lot, nursing is a big deal, it’s definitely not a walk in the park and on that day, we actually get acknowledged for that. It’s actually nice to be able to hear my mom say constantly that she’s proud of me and that she’s thankful of my effort because never in my life have i been beaten up so much about something i don’t have the slightest concern about.

I do think that i will end up crying tomorrow. but not for the reasons that everyone else will be crying about. After tomorrow, there won’t be anymore looking back and i can’t believe that this is where i actually am right now. Never did i think that i would one day be in a crisp white uniform with a cap… as a nurse. If i was in a crisp white ANYTHING, it would have to be a nice polo shirt or a new dress. I still can’t phase out the fact that i’m doing this to myself. I guess, if i did end up crying tomorrow it’s because i didn’t wanna be there. I would rather be dead sometimes.

of course i’m happy i got this far. i’m happy my parents are happy cuz i’m not doing this for me, i’m doing it for them. but you know what they say… you can never really be completely happy,