i guess i never really thought about what i actually have to do when i start working in the community. i never really thought that nursing was about service and shit, i was just always floating around waiting for people to tell me what to do and when to do it. I don’t even know how to freaking sweep floors for god’s sake! it is the most embarrassing thing ever- not knowing things you’re supposed to know. i felt like people thought i was some irresponsible brat or something. and yeah, it was verbalized by some of my members… 😦

but yeah, at first i was soo scared to do anything cuz i was scared to screw up. then once i did start doing something, i only did the things that could get my requirements for graduation done but then people starting in and you could tell that these people REALLY needed help. and then the workers there were soo welcoming despite the fact that they were so busy and don’t even get paid enough. they were soo willing to help and then it just made me realize that, i have a responsibility to do even if i don’t like nursing. it made me feel like I wanted to do something, i wanted to offer what i knew and what i actually could do. and then it just changed everything.

after duty, i was really tired but knowing that i accomplished so much in just one day made everything seem worth it. and then, for the first time ever, i actually said that i want to be a nurse.

i’m such a traitor.

so that’s that. we’ll see what’ll happen. it’s only been one day after all.

so you know that thing i do where i talk too much and say the wrong things and people get offended? yeah, i did that again. and now i’m like miley cyrus- everyone’s hating on me. well, not really, miley minus everything else. HAHA. and according to facebook i am a die hard lesbian lover who got raped or something. it’s absolutely ridiculous. honestly, if i got hit before, it happened already. i don’t have a problem talking about it because i learned from it and i grew from it. I grew from it enough to know which battles to fight and quite honestly, this isn’t one of those fights.

i just don’t wanna look back on this and be like, “wth that was so stupid i can’t believe i did that.” i have a little bit of me doing that already and i’m sorry but i HAVE to quote this, “two wrongs don’t make a right.” HAHAH. i feel like the biggest loser ever. i proli am one too. always have been one and yk, i don’t care. i’m happy like this.

i already did what i had to do and let’s just leave it at that. from what i know, if i said anything to hurt anyone, i talked it over and cleared things out. that’s all that really matters to me right now. i don’t do drama or scandals or catfights- that’s just not how i function. and like i’ve said so many times already, i just don’t have the time for it.

so THAT’S done. or not.

anywaaaays, i think i had a really good saturday if i sum everything up. i got everything done, i got to SLEEP and i spent time with the family. everything i could wish for in a regular day 🙂

so, i went to school basically for nothing. we didn’t have a single class the whole day! but i got to hang out with alex and we just talked about anything and everything. i kinda get why i can relate to her now and it kinda made me wish that i would’ve gotten to know her better before. it’s nice to know who your friends are.

aside from that, i had a really good conversation with well, someone, and i think it went well. well, i can only hope. I got to explain everything to her and i apologized which was just the right thing to do. she said it was ok but i know that maybe everything’s not completely ok and i won’t force it. she’s knows i’m sorry, she heard my side what else is there to do right?

then i went home and slept the whoooole day cause i was so tired from walking around school getting everything done for monday’s duty. i got assigned in Mantuyong and idk, you tell me. haha. i woke up with a headache and went to ayala with my family to watch This Is It with the siblings while the rents went on their own date. it was cutesy. And even if it’s a saturday and i’m home, i really don’t mind. Me and casey are gonna watch movies the whole night and wake up early for church tomorrow then me and mommy are going out on a date. yey. 🙂

i need some fucking humor in my life right now. lately it’s just been school and nothing more. I actually commute going home now and it’s a bitch. Sometimes i have someone to ride with, sometimes i don’t. and instead of my getting off at 5:30 every MWF, i get off at 6:30 since they decided to moved my physics class an hour later. NOT a good idea. but at least i can still take the class. it’s better than nothing, i guess.

anyways, so today there are some issues going on with me and some of my classmates particularly one

fuck it i cant do this there’s a big ass roach i might diue

i need some fucking humor in my life right now. lately it’s just been school and nothing more. I actually commute going home now and it’s a bitch. Sometimes i have someone to ride with, sometimes i don’t. and instead of my getting off at 5:30 every MWF, i get off at 6:30 since they decided to moved my physics class an hour later. NOT a good idea. but at least i can still take the class. it’s better than nothing, i guess.

anyways, so today there are some issues going on with me and some of my classmates particularly one

fuck it i cant do this there’s a big ass roach i might diue

so yeah, the bad:
i actually did fail PHYSICS. i mean who the hell fails physics. I’m so bummed i actually have to take that stupid class AGAIN. i hate this. plus this means i have to go home on my own every MWF. i hate commuting

the good:
i’m in Hannah’s class so at least i won’t be a complete  L O S E R

the bad:
school is so tiring

the good:
we’re still on “hsopital” duty so it’s basically us re learning our skills which is a good thing because i heard we actually have to do parentheral procedures and i failed my return demo. and plus i heard we have to de-louse some kids and that’s… bad.

the bad:
i officialy have no life

the good:
i get to concentrate on school.

the good:
MAG CAPPING NAKO!!!! 😀