damn.. ima be soo busy today.. gotta go to my cardio and like back to school [in summer!!] i have to study and pick out cothes for our garage sale!! lol.

-smax and beermugs- 

p.m.

hey, came from chub’s house .. it was rockin!! we had a session wit the web cam .. i swear, our faces are meant to b in front of te camera .. ima show you em when chub sends them ..

peace,

🙂

yeah baybeh, i did it!! Ü ill add mo piciez when im up to it ayt .. got people waiting fo’ me so .. gimme props for the good work!! 🙂 hahah

fuck the pictures!! screw them!

anyways, today is the 2nd day of summer and like, i;ve been a buhm .. i’ve been online and to the grocery and places. ima get my requirements so i can take mah test by saturday ..

there’s not much to say bout today .. lol.

oh yea, i have a new big brother.. donnie and i have him wrapped around my finger [in the words of kathya] he’s sending my pins over .. i dunno about my pencil case though .. haha . not that i need it or anythang.

i need to do something productive .. damn. save me!

BITCH! 

Aa_bEbE_pHaT_aA

haha. juz loose it crazy [biotch] !!

yeah baybeh, i did it!! Ü ill add mo piciez when im up to it ayt .. got people waiting fo’ me so .. gimme props for the good work!! 🙂 hahah

fuck the pictures!! screw them!

anyways, today is the 2nd day of summer and like, i;ve been a buhm .. i’ve been online and to the grocery and places. ima get my requirements so i can take mah test by saturday ..

there’s not much to say bout today .. lol.

oh yea, i have a new big brother.. donnie and i have him wrapped around my finger [in the words of kathya] he’s sending my pins over .. i dunno about my pencil case though .. haha . not that i need it or anythang.

i need to do something productive .. damn. save me!

BITCH! 

Aa_bEbE_pHaT_aA

haha. juz loose it crazy [biotch] !!

sAtUrdaY:

oK.. this day was JamMin.. iT was like, FINALLY the last day of school and it would probably be my last day at stc .. jy. haha. it was c0olazZ cuz we took the test .. maybe cheated for the last time this schoolyear and went wild!! haha. i honestly wanted to cry because it would be the last time for alot of thanz like, the last time alintaya would give me “cool shoes”. or the last time i would ever talk back to my fucking™ teachers .. or the last time i would be walking down those halls in my st. theresa’s uniform .. God, i’m happy but still, i feel like crying. i’ll emote when ecerything is finally ayt? haha. cuz i gots a lot to say.

so, we went to ayala .. i spent most of my time with nEeneE, aRdEN and nIkKi .. it was the four of us .. well, duh!!

we ate at desert fac. we all had caesar [how the hell do you spell it?!] salads .. yuumm.. hahaha.

it was all good. meeting up with people who you would normally see on a saturday at the mall. but oh, i saw a couple of you knows and whatchama – callits. [wtf!? did i just say that??]

hhaha. i saw r o y .. haven’t been textin or hearing from each other ina while and .. that’s ayt with me.  i mean, i wasnt bein mean but yeah, things are better so, yeah. shuttup!!

anyways, me, mom and papa had our usualy date. i was spoiled ..  i got new bed sheets and liek i was supposed to get the lamp but then, bast aloong story and it’s not worth typing. 🙂 hahaha

we ate at tinderbox. [sossy] i swear the shit there is soo freakin expensive!! Ü haha. i mean like, 500 bucks for a freakin steak .. omg! good thing it tasted good.. 🙂 haha. and like, while we were eating layla came in .. hahah. not much to say bout that .. it was just weird cuz i saw em in ayala earlier .. i wanted to like stay and talk to her tha time but then .. like, i’m guesing their stil pretty pissed off at me .. well.. whatever !

oh, i have a mother who’s a tiguwang igat! she’s all made up and shit. she had her eyelids and her bows tattoed.. oh wow.

sunday:

uhm.. i went to church .. went to yala .. and oh, i went to mia’s birthday dinner.. kim a and karl was there.. naka points si arden .. sweet love.  mia’s room is ssoo cool and im jealous haha . Ü i had fun .. yeah .. i would definitely do it again .. 🙂

today:

oh my god .. it ws so.. yea!  i had a hot oil .. now my hair smells guhd.. haha. then i went to maria montessori children’s house .. its soo freakin far . but it was worth it .. 🙂

the place is soo fetch .. wa dyud ka tungga ang stc and im just being honest and im not trying to diss my own school .. its just like me saying, i’m prettier than she is .. it’s the truth .  haha. just messing.

anyways, so apparently.. im moving there!! :)no worries.. or maybe there is .. my grades and my moral conduct or something. damn. what am i gonna do?! i dont tink im gonna get it .. i mean, i wasn’t one of the best .. in fact, i never was .. ir maybe in my dorky suck- up years but tha’s like .. so history!! Ü

curently:

ima buhm at home .. im hungry and its 5:51 i still gotta find out a way to add pictures t this dump! it’s soo freakin boring!  

hahah. okie .. i gotta go .. bye ..

mwah

peace

hay-lOe..

whats up vRi1? uMaseNso ang buhay koh pare! i had my room painted tiz hot pink and apple green.. i juz got mah new bunk bed too! buh ,mah freakin bed sheet stinks.. ginna shop for new ones! sucha drag ma, i have to be nice to my sistah and let her fat ass stay on the top bunk!! i hate it. ugh! haha. but i always get my way and i will wit this one. lol.

xhub came over today.. we watched raise your voice.. oliver james is soo hot!! :0 we went to jy to eat at mcdonals.. i studied and made our the since.. i dont wanna talk about me.. might start a fit!! 🙂 chub played iwth casey the whole time.. wow! nindot. then we watched wimbledon.. soo f-u-n! :O

made my projtect.. heritage.. nindot!! not!! i have a weird family.!!

A.Dad

This is supposed to be an introduction, but it’s hard for me to do so because I don’t know how do you put into words great honor and respect for someone. I might not see this man all the time and I’ve probably spent half my life growing up without him. I might not get to hear from him as often as I would like to, but even though distance has kept us apart for so many years, never has it made my love for him lessen in any way. He may not know all the struggles that I’m going through in my teenage life and all the hardships that I have to face but I know that he loves me like I love him and that’s without end.

There are times when I wish that he were here right now, that while I

am writing this, he would be here wiping the tears that are falling from my eyes. But then, there are also times when I assume that I don’t need him anymore and when I think that I go on with my life without him. But you know what? Deep down inside, I know that as much as he needs me, I need him…I just don’t want to admit it.

Like I said, I can’t find the perfect words to introduce one of the special people in my life. And I can’t do this because for one, I know that I owe him so much more than I have been giving him right now and for a whole lot of other reasons. He is the one who gave me my first kiss, the first to hold me in his arms and call me beautiful. The person who proves the saying, actions speak louder than words, the guy who possesses the attitude I find most annoying, assuming ness. And even though I am not fond of people like that, he still finds a way to make me laugh with his tacky impressions and corny jokes. The hardest workingman alive who has the most creative mind yet, my father, Alvin Patalinghug Chua.

And I know that every kid in the world thinks that their dad is the best because he goes to work, puts the food on the table and brings them out once in a while but in reality, their not. I’m not trying to say that my dad is the best because he’s not. But I know that my dad can beat anyone else’s any day because I’ve lived with him not being able to kiss or hug or play with me most of my life but I still know that he’ll always be there for me. That’s why he’s not the best dad in the world but he’s so close. J

B.Mother

Having me was like 15 minutes of pleasure, 9 months of pain [but for me it was more like shame], 48 hours of labor that landed her with a baby girl with no last name.

I have lived an amazing life, a life that required me to face every situation maturely. It was like, I didn’t have time to look at the world like a game because I was in the real world, I was living a hard knock life and I just had to accept everything that happened in my life without having to know why. I’m not saying that I didn’t have a childhood because I did; in fact, I would say I had a really great one. And the because of everything I’ve been through, there was the necessity for me to face everything maturely. I wasn’t forced to, maybe it just comes naturally and like a flower, it bloomed at the right time and molded me into what I have become today.

I have to say that one of the main reasons of my personality and what I am today is all thanks to my mother. She is the most amazing and the strongest person I have ever met and because of that, all my life I have tried and tried my best to be like her… and I think that I already am, except with a little bit of something more. J

We’ve been through a lot together, we’ve gone the ups and downs and the sides of life but somehow, and we faced it. We’ve had our good and our bad days but the best thing about everything was that we never had second thoughts of giving up.

The best thing about this woman is that, when she falls down, she immediately stands up and finds another reason in life. Her drive in life is contagious and she always knows the right things to say at the right time. Sometimes it might seem to me as if she doesn’t care or as if she hates me or I was a mistake but when I think of it, I think that it’s not true because she never gave up on me, even through the ghetto days.

So I’d like to introduce my superwoman, Catherine Butler Inocencio Chua- Perez, my mother… and the only one I’d tend to have for the rest of my life.

C.Father

Some people may think that I’m crazy because I don’t live the same way they do or I have more than what they do… but I’m not, I just have a different reality.

There will always be that one person in everyone’s life who will knock you off your feet and show you what life is truly made of and for me, that person has already arrived and swooped me off my feet and for me, that could only be one person, my step dad.

Honestly, I don’t look at him as my step dad anymore because he’s done so much more than what a usual step dad does, for me I will always have two dads and I will love them equally even through the distances.

I owe him so much because even though I’m not really part of his family but, he let me in anyways. Took me in and made me feel like I was always part of it, like he envisioned me to be in it before it even happened and I thank God for him because he was the missing piece to my puzzle.

He has taught me so much in life, respect, how to forgive others and he’s help me discover myself and what I want in life at the moment, that is. He’s taught me a great lesson about second chances and how to give them. And I love him with all my heart and soul and I never regret having him in my life because he keeps me breathing. J

He’s my savior [after God], my Spiderman, my Philippine man, my DaWg, my homeboy, he’s Leandro Bautista Perez, he’s my papa. Ü

haha. enjoy. peace, mwah!

bebe_phat [1′]

www.badette.com/cebu [st. theresa;s college] highschool dapit.. pyter!!

hay-lOe..

whats up vRi1? uMaseNso ang buhay koh pare! i had my room painted tiz hot pink and apple green.. i juz got mah new bunk bed too! buh ,mah freakin bed sheet stinks.. ginna shop for new ones! sucha drag ma, i have to be nice to my sistah and let her fat ass stay on the top bunk!! i hate it. ugh! haha. but i always get my way and i will wit this one. lol.

xhub came over today.. we watched raise your voice.. oliver james is soo hot!! :0 we went to jy to eat at mcdonals.. i studied and made our the since.. i dont wanna talk about me.. might start a fit!! 🙂 chub played iwth casey the whole time.. wow! nindot. then we watched wimbledon.. soo f-u-n! :O

made my projtect.. heritage.. nindot!! not!! i have a weird family.!!

A.Dad

This is supposed to be an introduction, but it’s hard for me to do so because I don’t know how do you put into words great honor and respect for someone. I might not see this man all the time and I’ve probably spent half my life growing up without him. I might not get to hear from him as often as I would like to, but even though distance has kept us apart for so many years, never has it made my love for him lessen in any way. He may not know all the struggles that I’m going through in my teenage life and all the hardships that I have to face but I know that he loves me like I love him and that’s without end.

There are times when I wish that he were here right now, that while I

am writing this, he would be here wiping the tears that are falling from my eyes. But then, there are also times when I assume that I don’t need him anymore and when I think that I go on with my life without him. But you know what? Deep down inside, I know that as much as he needs me, I need him…I just don’t want to admit it.

Like I said, I can’t find the perfect words to introduce one of the special people in my life. And I can’t do this because for one, I know that I owe him so much more than I have been giving him right now and for a whole lot of other reasons. He is the one who gave me my first kiss, the first to hold me in his arms and call me beautiful. The person who proves the saying, actions speak louder than words, the guy who possesses the attitude I find most annoying, assuming ness. And even though I am not fond of people like that, he still finds a way to make me laugh with his tacky impressions and corny jokes. The hardest workingman alive who has the most creative mind yet, my father, Alvin Patalinghug Chua.

And I know that every kid in the world thinks that their dad is the best because he goes to work, puts the food on the table and brings them out once in a while but in reality, their not. I’m not trying to say that my dad is the best because he’s not. But I know that my dad can beat anyone else’s any day because I’ve lived with him not being able to kiss or hug or play with me most of my life but I still know that he’ll always be there for me. That’s why he’s not the best dad in the world but he’s so close. J

B.Mother

Having me was like 15 minutes of pleasure, 9 months of pain [but for me it was more like shame], 48 hours of labor that landed her with a baby girl with no last name.

I have lived an amazing life, a life that required me to face every situation maturely. It was like, I didn’t have time to look at the world like a game because I was in the real world, I was living a hard knock life and I just had to accept everything that happened in my life without having to know why. I’m not saying that I didn’t have a childhood because I did; in fact, I would say I had a really great one. And the because of everything I’ve been through, there was the necessity for me to face everything maturely. I wasn’t forced to, maybe it just comes naturally and like a flower, it bloomed at the right time and molded me into what I have become today.

I have to say that one of the main reasons of my personality and what I am today is all thanks to my mother. She is the most amazing and the strongest person I have ever met and because of that, all my life I have tried and tried my best to be like her… and I think that I already am, except with a little bit of something more. J

We’ve been through a lot together, we’ve gone the ups and downs and the sides of life but somehow, and we faced it. We’ve had our good and our bad days but the best thing about everything was that we never had second thoughts of giving up.

The best thing about this woman is that, when she falls down, she immediately stands up and finds another reason in life. Her drive in life is contagious and she always knows the right things to say at the right time. Sometimes it might seem to me as if she doesn’t care or as if she hates me or I was a mistake but when I think of it, I think that it’s not true because she never gave up on me, even through the ghetto days.

So I’d like to introduce my superwoman, Catherine Butler Inocencio Chua- Perez, my mother… and the only one I’d tend to have for the rest of my life.

C.Father

Some people may think that I’m crazy because I don’t live the same way they do or I have more than what they do… but I’m not, I just have a different reality.

There will always be that one person in everyone’s life who will knock you off your feet and show you what life is truly made of and for me, that person has already arrived and swooped me off my feet and for me, that could only be one person, my step dad.

Honestly, I don’t look at him as my step dad anymore because he’s done so much more than what a usual step dad does, for me I will always have two dads and I will love them equally even through the distances.

I owe him so much because even though I’m not really part of his family but, he let me in anyways. Took me in and made me feel like I was always part of it, like he envisioned me to be in it before it even happened and I thank God for him because he was the missing piece to my puzzle.

He has taught me so much in life, respect, how to forgive others and he’s help me discover myself and what I want in life at the moment, that is. He’s taught me a great lesson about second chances and how to give them. And I love him with all my heart and soul and I never regret having him in my life because he keeps me breathing. J

He’s my savior [after God], my Spiderman, my Philippine man, my DaWg, my homeboy, he’s Leandro Bautista Perez, he’s my papa. Ü

haha. enjoy. peace, mwah!

bebe_phat [1′]

www.badette.com/cebu [st. theresa;s college] highschool dapit.. pyter!!

Ey bEbs ,

we did it!  we shook ass and rocked the stage! we were born for the lime light! we deserve center stage 24/7!Ü we the only chiks that can stand the heat, the pressure.. the assumingness!!  haha. im soo full of me and mah ghurls. buh honey, once you wit the crew of “gOodies” beb, wit no doubt… you’d wanna stay the sem. next time, we gun dance wit the othah goodies.. we gone add everythang up.. all the booty wigglers will unite and make jaws fall… oh yea baby.. i feel the heat, the rhythm.. can;t stop shakin in mah seat.. ano bah?! shit. i need mo action! i gotta et up and dance!! hahaha. sorry na ged.

Oh, my matez “said” tha, they wanted mo’ of mah lovey lovey whatever things.. you know, a the shit i wrote for ***.. bull crap. haha. so, im posting them.. to show the world how stupid you get when you THINK you like someone.

1

i’ll always be here for you. i’ll always listen to your every word. i’ll take your hand when you need someone to hold you tight.
even if i’ll get hurt, it’s all right. that’s how much i love you.

i know that i should let go of you by now. i know i should do what my heart told me to do a long time ago. forget how much i love
you because whats the use?! you won’t love me anyway… all you care about is her.. pano na yan?!

i love you. i dream of you. i long for you. but you’ll never understand even if you try because i love you without reason.
i love you when the whole wold doesn’t. i love you. i simply do.

i wish i didn’t. i wish there wasn’t such thing as love. i wish there wasn’t such thing as hurt. i wish there wasn’t such thing as
life because that way there would neither be me nor you.

i hate you! i hate you for real because i hate the way i force myself to hate you but deep down inside i know i never will.
no matter how hard i try. no matter how hard i cry. i can never hate you the way you want me to.

2

I’m not afraid of loving you because loving you is one of the happiest times of my life I’ve ever been through.

I’m not afraid of giving my heart away to the wrong person because I know that what else can I loose? I know that I’d be giving it away to someone who would never mean to hurt me on purpose.

I’m not afraid of loosing you because if I do, I know that you will always be a part of me and like you promised, I would always be your boo [?!]

I’m not afraid to let you go because if you truly love me like the way you say you do, when you realize that I can love you more, you’d come back to me.

I’m not afraid of being your plaything because I owe you so much and you deserve it anyways.

But if there’s one thing I’m afraid of it’s you falling out of love with me because everyday I know your love for me lessens but if you knew, everyday my love for you keeps growing. I’m scared that when my love for you is finally full that’s the time when your love for me is empty. You know what I’m talking about?

It’s just not easy seeing you everyday and having to pinch myself to the fact that you can never be mine no matter how hard I cry, no matter how many times or how long I pray, I know your heart will always belong to her. I just don’t know if I can handle the fact that you had me wishing on something that I realized could never be mine. You made you reach for a star that I could never pull down but I’m still hoping that maybe, one day, that star would just fall.

I don’t know how you make me crazy; I don’t know why I’m crazy for you anyway! You haven’t even done anything special for me. You’re not even as in love with me as I am with you. You don’t even dream of me like the way I do of you. Could you do me a favor? Tonight, can you dream of me like the way I dream of you, so at least you’d know how it would feel to be in love with someone who refuses to love you in return. To be in love with someone who loves you for all the wrong reasons, all at the wrong time.

I used to think that my reality was better than my dreams but then; I guess I was dreaming again cuz I woke up!! I realized that sometimes I would rather fall into a deep sleep than to wish that you would love me like you love her or better yet, more because when I dream, everything comes true but when I think and wish of it, all I end up is with scars and really big eye bags!

I know you don’t care and when I’m gone you won’t look for me. I know that if I told you that I loved you, you wouldn’t care. Maybe this isn’t the right time to tell you about how much I really do. But how DO I really feel for you? Is it enough to say that I love you as much as I love life itself yet, all you’ll ever love me is like you love your sister? I can’t tell you that I love you like life itself because I love you than so much more, more than you’ll ever imagine! I love you and especially the butterflies that’s been carrying me away every time I see you.

I don’t know how I’ll end this because if I had to write about how much I love you, I think this’ll go one forever. So I guess I’ll cut to the chase, I love you and I hope when I fully love you… you’d still be there sharing that piece of love with me!

-issa chua- [plain and simple]

12:14 am

Created: Saturday, December 11, 2004, 12:18:17 AM

3

Free-writing # 5                                                    Rating:

The Perfect Fairytale

Every night when I was young, my mommy would always read to me. She’d read me anything random from mermaids, to clowns, animals or how things worked. She’d read to me about God and how much He loved me. Sometimes, she’s read to me about boy stuff [that’s something that I’ve learned to appreciate at a very young age]. But among all the stories she read to me, my all time favorite stories where fairytales. I loved how princes would sweep the princesses off their feet and live happily ever after. I loved the fact that those fairy tales always had the best happy endings. But the thing that I seemed to love the most is how they all always had me fancying about what my life would be like if I was a princess, in a castle, with a prince to live my “oh-so-happy” life with.

There were times when my mom and I would talk and wonder about what our lives would be if she were a queen of a magical kingdom and I was the princess. Back then; I had everything pictured out for me. I’d live in a big, beautiful and colorful room, which was surrounded with a million toys and in the middle of the room was a big canopy with linen sheets dropping at the sides. Everything would be made out of the finest jewels, gold and everything that a little girl would’ve wanted. It was such a drag having to snap back to reality and having to look at my room, which, did I mention, wasn’t exactly my favorite place in the house. I’m just thankful that I have my mom who would often tell me that “life is a fairytale, although it always isn’t the way you want it to at first, if you just keep on believing and doing you’re best in everything…it will, eventually. ” And guess what? She what right!

I’m a princess, waiting for that one special person to sweep me off my feet and show me what happiness is truly made of. But right now, I’m still sleeping beauty, waiting for that prince to break this spell. I’m snow white, surrounded not only by 7 dwarfs but a million people who’ll help me along the way. And when I find my prince, I know he’ll be exactly like the prince in Rapunzel, he’ll do everything he can to make me happy and he won’t stop trying.

They say, that after every shower a rainbow appears. Well, if my life were based on the weather and problems was rain… it would be flooding! And like the saying, I know that when my rainbow comes out, it’ll be the best and biggest rainbow ever… it’ll stellar!! LOL

And in the process, if I had to tear out a page or if I had to do redo anything in my life…I wouldn’t think twice about saying “NO!” because the best things about my story are the problems I had to go through. I fought witches, dragons, etc. and yeah, I wouldn’t change a thing.

Living in my fairytale isn’t just great because of my prince, my problems and such… it’s great because I get to live everyday in a new page and I’m writing a story about the best fairytale… ever!!

By:

~*~One day your prince will come, mine just took a wrong turn, got lost, and is too stubborn to ask for directions~*~

I Am A Princess, I Live In The Clouds, If You Wanna Kick It With Me, You Better Bow Down, So Get On Your Knees, And Call Me Your Highness, Cuz Baby Believe Me I’m Cebu’s Finest!

~*~God Made The Land, God Made the Sea, God Needed a Princess, So He Made Me~*~

*~*On my birth certificate it clearly states princess*~*

4

Please don’t tell me you love me cuz I know that you love her. I don’t want you to pretend that you love me because it will only hurt me more. If you need a friend, I’ll be that person for you. I’ll be anything you want me to be, for as long as you want me to.

I love you but I can’t tell you how long it’s going to last. I love you because even though you don’t love me, you make me feel as if you do. I won’t do just anything for you… I would do everything! I’m sorry if I’m giving you a hard time by loving you but that’s what my heart wants me to do. Love you till my life is through. Don’t get mad at me for falling, but it’s hard to resist loving you. It’s hard to tell my heart to stop with all the things you do.

It’s not hard to love me. What does she have that i don’t? but I’m being stupid… how would you know? All you see is her or someone else.

………

s first I looked at you as a friend and nothing more but then you showed me what’s missing in my life and it made me realize that “why would I feel that way if I didn’t love you?”

-September or October something…- [pink notebook]

…………

I’m gonna get over you even if it’s the last thing I’ll ever do! I don’t need your sweet messages to make me smile; I’ll find someone else! I don’t need your smile to light up the dark! I’ll live perfectly in the dark, thank you very much. I don’t need to hear ‘our song [?!], I’ve lost meaning to it anyways. I don’t need to see you; I don’t need to fly away! But the thing I don’t need to be right now is a part of your collection. I’m tired of being your bases. I’m tired of being your bottie call! I’m not your plaything. I’m in-love with you but you never seem to notice! So what if I’ll feel all right when you text me? I’ll force myself not to! When you smile and everything turns bright, I’ll kind a switch. I’m tired of loving you because all I end up being is hurt. Besides, if I were gone… you wouldn’t mind. I was never really part of your life and If I was, I bet I was nothing to you.

okie.. so those are the only one’s i want to share wit the world.. have fun wit it you’ze and ingats coz those works if art are mine!:) dun go walking around tellin you people you made it cuz we all know you didn’t.. tha life ain’t right fo you!! haha. gangtah talking baybe!!Ü

im leavin!:) im tired. ima post survey’s next time. gotta lottathose lying around in mah files..

bye huns!! mwah!! :* tc.

oh yea, bi*c*zZz.. sign mah g’b0ok! pEaCe!!

fEelEr mODe:  bEbe_pHaT ™