since the time i got home until now, i’ve been pinching my face because i have the greatest notion that i’m finally getting some meat there.. and i am soo happy!!

for the longest time i’ve been trying to gain weight and it hasn’t been easy. First of all because i don’t really know why i’ve been having a hard time gaining weight ever since i got dengue. i mean, it’s just been weird. i’m not sick anymore and i’m still able to play tennis or dance or whatever it is i used to do but the problem is, i just keep loosing weight and not gaining any.

at first i thought it was a good thing cuz i always thought that i was fat for such a short girl so i didn’t really mind but then my bones would start sticking out of my body and people would start asking me if i was sick or if i had an eating disorder or something and then that’s when i realized that yeah, maybe i was a little bit too skinny.

i will not admit to having a disorder because i would eat. just not that much. geez, ok i don’t know what i had but i swear to god it wasn’t a disorder.

i’ve had my parents mentioning me getting a drug test so many times because neither they could understand why i was loosing soo much weight.

so for the past 2 months i’ve been answering every craving i’ve had and i’ve practically been force feeding myself just to get some weight. i do hope i’ve gained weight and i sure as hell hope i’ll stop getting those nasty looks and talks behind my back about me being this and that cuz of my weight.

do you think it’s possible to loose soo much weight when you don’t have a eating disorde or any health problems?

 

 
october 2008

p.s. i do not care for the fugly pictures.. 😀