yes, we broke up and somehow it hurts but then not as much as before. i’m so used to us breaking up and getting back together and i’m tired of it all.

i really love him though. i love him with all my heart and it sucks that we’re not together but it doesn’t hurt as much as before anymore because i’ve convinced myself a long time ago that if i want things to change – i need to take big jumps.

yes, maybe i regret it. yes, maybe we’ll get back together. but i assure you, it won’t be as simple as it was before.

besides, i’m still young and i’m tired of missing out on everything because he’s holding me back. i’m tired of just trying to be good enough and always having to say i’m sorry.

i’m tired of being hurt all the time and having to find someone else to make me feel better.

i deserve better, right?

but then again, i bet i was never a good girlfriend either. maybe that’s why james hasn’t called or texted or shown the least amount of care.

i’m tired of chasing after someone who doesn’t know what he wants and who doesn’t understand things yet.

maybe we are just too young to be in love.

i just wish it didn’t have to take 1 year and 8 months for us to figure it out.

i’m going to wait for him. as stupid as this sounds, i’m not going to move on because do believe in him and i do love him and i would do anything for him. i just want him to realize all those things about me.

stupid